The Art of Losing Yourself

Chapter Six

I could recognize that cold voice anywhere. "Slade." I said venomously quickly turning around in the dark. I could see his cold icy blue eye staring back at me. I used my powers and fell about of his grasp.

"Now now Raven there's no need to run, I just need to have a little 'chat' with you." I really had no where to go, my powers have started to barely work. I had to mediate quite a lot to help them work when we did get a crime alert. With all of the emotional pain I lately have been going through, my powers were taking the full brunt of it. "What 'little chat'?" I asked, backing up a bit.

"You know, about how you are hiding everything from your so called friends. And your wasting your time trying to stay alive. I came here to tell you, that these 'little chats' will continue until your dead." I still couldn't figure out how Slade knew about my problems. Maybe he has cameras, or worst case, there's someone in the tower that is working for him. Maybe it's Terra...

"I'm not hiding anything from my friends." Clearly that was a lie. "Oh yes you are, I know you are. Well I can't say how I know, but I have my ways." He paused to walk around to the counter. "Now as I was saying, you should really just end it all now. It's not like your friends care anyway." He was trying to convince me to kill myself, I mean there were times that I went over the thought but I haven't tried. "Th they care." He chuckled like what I said was humorous. "Your kidding me, right? I mean they would probably just leave you and take in someone new."

I wanted to defend myself in case he attacked or at least somewhat attempt to hurt him before he hurt mc with my powers. But of course I couldn't work them, he was doing this on purpose. Playing with my emotions. Making sure I couldn't attack him. "Stop telling me lies, what are you playing at?" I was getting really suspicious about his end goal with this. "Oh don't worry you'll find out, soon." And with that the lights flipped back on and Slade was gone.

I swallowed hard and ran back to my room. I locked the door and fell onto my bed, to say I was scared was an understatement. I was terrified. What he said did affect me, and he knew it did. He kept trying to crack me, and for some reason it worked. A few tears fell down my face but I quickly wiped them away.

Although I wanted to stay in bed, my tea kettle was still sitting in the kitchen and I could hear the loud whistle coming from here. But the thought of Slade showing up again kind of scared me. I got up anyway though because I can handle a quick trip to the kitchen for some tea.

I walked, more like ran, to the kitchen and poured myself a cup of tea. The drink itself instantly relaxed my nerves and I felt somewhat better. Taking my cup with me I went on my way to my room, and just sat down on my bed, with the door locked again.

After finishing my cup of tea, I set down the empty cup on the side table by my bed. I got up and changed into a pair of pajamas that consisted of a long sleeve purple shirt and black shorts. I laid down in bed and tried to relax. But Slade coming back just seemed to bug me. I didn't want to risk telling anyone about what was going on. Considering the reason he was bothering me was about a secret I kept from the other Titans as well.

I rubbed my temples, feeling a small headache beginning to form. I laid in bed for hours just staring at the ceiling and thinking about my life. About everything that had happened in my life, things I regret, things I miss, things I wish I had done. And I also thought of what will happen when everyone does find out about my secret. They will probably throw me out of the tower, or maybe they'll care. There is a chance that their concern isn't fake, but at the same time there's a part of me that still believes it's completely out of pity and means nothing.

It was around 4 in the morning and I groaned, hitting my face with my hands. Finally I forced myself to close my eyes, and thought of nothing. And eventually I fell asleep, but did not dream at all. It was like a dark abyss I could not escape. It was relaxing for my body but not exactly for my mind. I'm starting to slip up, everything is beginning to get worse. And that paranoia just lasted while I slept. It sat in the corner of my mind, waiting for me to wake up. So it could strike, and repeat this process of anxiety all over again tomorrow.

The Next Morning:
There were loud knocks on my door, I groaned and rolled over onto my stomach. I was still tired, and staying up most of the night with paranoia didn't help at all. I heard my door open and a small chuckle. "Good morning Raven." I knew that voice. It was BeastBoy. "What do you want? I'm tired?" "You promised to come down and have breakfast with us, remember?" I honestly didn't want to go at all, I rather sleep some more. Sleep sounded better than an awkward meal.

"Can't we do that tomorrow?" He sighed. "No, please just come down for breakfast. I don't care if you wear your pajamas just please come with me." I groaned, but pulled the blankets off my body and shivered a little. All of a sudden it was cold in my room. "I'm going to change, one sec." He just nodded and I ran with some clothes into the small bathroom that's in my room.

I threw on a pair of black leggings and a sleeping with sirens hoodie. Quickly brushing my hair and teeth I walked back to BeastBoy. "Ready?" He asked. I just nodded and walked with him down to the main ops room.

Okay I know this is a really long chapter, but I didn't know where to end it. Also it's probably really bad. If it's bad please say it nicely and I will rewrite it, I don't mind. It's two in the morning, and I'm not tired at all so I thought why not write something. Anyway hope you enjoyed please vote, comment, and stick around for another chapter. Idk when that will come out, I have a lot of things in school coming up so it might not be soon. Okay, bye.
~Jordan