Seven Weeks to Forever (Love / Romance)

Chapter Thirty-Six

I steel myself for something like what he just put me through, but the sensation I dread doesn't arrive. Instead, everything gets blurry again. I squint, wondering what's wrong with my eyes until Noah and the room we're in fades away, and a clear picture forms in front of me.

Riley stands a few feet away, looking older than he does now—maybe ten years older. There's a gold band on the ring finger of his left hand, and his right hand holds the hand of someone else. When I look closer, I see it's me. I'm wearing a gold band on my left hand, too. A little girl bounces around on the living room floor in front of us. She has Riley's eyes and my dark hair, and I guess that she's our daughter. We look like a happy family.

The scene shifts out of focus and now I see something different. Riley looks a couple of years older than he did in the last vision, but it's hard to tell because his face is scrunched up, mangled in what looks like pain or maybe grief. Our daughter wanders around the living room, not seeming to notice anything around her. Tears stream down her face.

"She left us," Riley keeps saying. I see his mom sitting on a chair, watching him. Deep worry lines are etched across her face. She gets up from the chair and reaches her arms out for her granddaughter.

The image fades and now I'm watching someone's funeral. Is it mine? I try to get a closer look at the casket at the front of the room. The first thing I see is a man's suit jacket, then a sandy-blond head.

It's not me inside the casket. It's Riley.

Like scattered puzzle pieces coming together, it all starts to make sense. I stayed here in The Before, but met my end in a way similar to what I imagine happened to David. I simply disappeared without explanation, The Life-After catching up with me after I broke one of the rules to make sure I couldn't interfere in anyone else's fate. And what David's disappearance did to me when I was Anna, ending in my cosmic accident, is what my disappearance would do to Riley. I don't know what losing both of her parents would do to our daughter, and it's not something my heart can handle seeing right now. I open my eyes and look at Noah.

"What happens if I go?" I whisper.

"You already know," he answers. "It's the reason you're here."

"I want to see it." It's more than a want. It's as though I need to see Riley's future playing out in front of me so I can know he'll be happy and successful. I want to see that he'll do incredible, beautiful things. If I can see it and hold the vision with me, then maybe this won't be so hard.

"Close your eyes."

I do as I'm told. Within seconds, images that look like still photographs flash by, one after another. There's a book signing, first. Riley's at a table, surrounded by a mob of people. In the next image, he looks like he's receiving some type of award. After that there's a benefit concert where he's singing into a microphone, with John behind him on stage. It's followed by a series of dinners and fundraisers with politicians and celebrities. Then he's on another stage at a podium, speaking at an event with thousands of people. The banners tell me it's for a humanitarian charity.

The images fade out and I see him inside of a beautiful house. From the view that's outside of the floor-to-ceiling windows, I can tell he's high up in the Hollywood Hills. He looks content, his arm around another little girl who appears to be about three or four years old.

She doesn't look like the girl in my vision of the two of us, but I can tell this is his daughter. He's reading to her, and there's delight all over her face. Pure joy and love are written across his.

He looks up from the book for a moment, his eyes moving to the doorway of the room. What he sees there makes his eyes light up even more. I try to follow his gaze and think I see a woman standing in the doorway who must be his wife, but the scene fades away before I can make out what she looks like. Then Noah is standing in front of me again.

"He stays happy?" I ask. "He has a good life?" I already know the answer to both questions.

Noah nods. "He has the life he's supposed to. It's all because you opened his heart to love again."

"What happens after I'm gone, though? He doesn't close off again?" I know the answer to this, too, but for some reason I need to ask.

"No. He's filled with grief at first, of course, because he doesn't know what's next for you. From that grief, though, will come something he writes in your memory. The book will lead him to meet his wife and will also start his rise to fame. It will only take a few months from the time you return to The Life-After for him to cross paths with the woman he'll marry. His energy will connect with hers, and that connection will stay and strengthen. He'll know he has to see her again, and that she's the one for him."

It's hard not to flinch at the thought of Riley marrying someone else. I try to hide it, but it doesn't work. Noah takes another step closer to me, his voice softer than I've ever heard it.

"I can't stop you from making your own choice, but I'm asking you to let yourself be guided by love. Don't make a choice based on selfishness or fear."

"Are you going to boost me?" I ask, staring at the floor. I can't look at him.

"Not tonight."

I raise my head, not sure I'm hearing him correctly. I can feel how low my energy is now, and I'm sure Noah can sense it, too. I have to be close to blacking out.

"I can't force you back to The Life-After, so there's no point in me boosting you now. If you choose not to connect tonight, your energy will probably get so low that you won't be able to connect again even if you want to. This is your decision to make."

I sink down onto the sofa, watching him disappear from the room. I know he isn't kidding. It's especially important for me to raise my energy now, so I can be ready for what's supposed to happen in two days. I also have the choice to sever that connection and stay until The Life-After catches up with me and banishes me from existence. Just like David.

Staying means having a chance I didn't have in my time here as Anna, though. I'll have the time to explore a love unlike anything I've ever had, even if it's only for a little while. If I stay, I'll feel Riley's arms around me again and see his smile. The kisses we'll share when I see him tomorrow won't be our last. Thinking about leaving knocks the air right out of my lungs.

But I know what's waiting for me in The Life-After. I know what I'd tell everyone here in The Before, if I could. The Life-After is the next phase, and it's filled with a love that's even brighter than anyone could imagine. Leaving The Before isn't an ending at all, but a beginning. There's no reason to be sad, or to mourn or grieve. There's no loss, only gain and a lot to celebrate. I recite this to myself, but it doesn't make it easier.

I know that if I stay, I'll ruin Riley's chance at an easy transition to The Life-After. When I disappear like David did—and everything Noah has shown me lets me know I will—Riley's time here in The Before will be beyond repair. He'll be devastated, beyond the help of anyone, and he'll have to die. Our daughter will know the kind of pain that no little girl should ever have to know. Two lives will be left in shambles, and Riley will be forced to come back as a second-timer, all because I made a choice to stay and experience this kind of romantic love for a few more years.

I know what interfering with fate can do. I can't do that to Riley, no matter what the thought of returning to The Life-After is doing to me right now. Love means not ripping away the life and happiness someone else is destined for, even if it feels like it's tearing my own heart into a million pieces.

I lean back against the sofa cushions, listening to the ticking of the clock. Then I close my eyes and connect to The Life-After.