Seven Weeks to Forever (Love / Romance)

Chapter Twenty-Six

Either Amarleen saw how Selena was looking at me in class, or she remembers that we were avoiding each other at the front desk. Maybe both. I don't see how she could be getting this from just those two things, though. Not unless she overheard our conversation in the bathroom the other week. Now I'm positive that Noah said something to her.

"Noah didn't tell me anything," she says, reading my thoughts. "I've seen the energy between you and Selena. It tells me you were close once, and for a long time. You had a falling out, I'm guessing?"

"Sort of." I pause, wondering if there's an easy way to explain this. Then I remember that she can hear my thoughts, which makes me wonder if she can also see my memories if she tunes into my energy. Noah can. I look up at her, and she gives me an encouraging smile. I think she already knows what I'm going to ask her.

"Can I show you, if I think of the memory that I have?"

She nods. "I should be able to see it. Just close your eyes and relax, and picture what you want me to see."

I close my eyes and breathe slowly and deeply. When my mind is completely still, I let an image of myself as a little girl surface. It's faint at first, then it gets stronger until I'm right there in the memory, watching it all unfold in front of me.

I'm sitting on a swing set in my aunt and uncle's backyard, the new metal poles a sparkly pink that I love. Someone came to set it up yesterday, and it's only the second time I've sat on one of the white plastic seats. I'm six years old and I haven't been living with my aunt and uncle for very long.

My uncle stands behind me, making sure I'm steady on the seat and that I won't fall off. He doesn't know that no harm would come to me even if I did take a tumble, but it's a secret I have to keep for my own. My aunt was outside with us until a couple of minutes ago, but she went inside when our housekeeper came to tell her there was someone at the door.

I try to push myself on the swing with my legs. The swing is a little too high, though. My toes barely touch the ground.

"Need some help?" my uncle asks. I nod. He takes the chains of the swing in his hand and gives me a small push, just enough to help me rock back and forth but not enough to send me sailing through the air. I'm about to ask him to push the swing harder when my aunt appears in the doorway that opens out to the backyard.

My aunt isn't alone. There's a woman standing beside her. She holds the hand of a girl who looks to be about my age. The girl stares at me from the doorway until the woman kneels down and says something to her, and then gestures to me.

The girl's eyes light up, and then she races across the lawn toward me. She's at my side within seconds, hopping onto the swing beside me.

"I'm Selena," she says, taking hold of the chains on either side of her swing. She's a little bit taller than me and uses her feet to start pushing herself.

"I'm Cassidy," I tell her. My swing isn't going anywhere so I watch her swing back and forth, her dark curls bouncing around her face.

"Selena, don't forget what we brought with us," the woman calls from across the yard.

Selena hops off the swing and goes scampering back over to her. The woman hands her a rectangular package wrapped in rainbow foil and a ton of curled ribbons. I get off of the swing and take a few steps toward them. Selena rushes to meet me, her eyes sparkling and her face eager as I open the gift. It's a princess doll.

"I have one too," Selena says. "It's my favorite. We can play with them together and pretend they're twin sisters."

And that's exactly what we did. I fast forward in time, another memory surfacing from my first day at my new school. Selena and I sit at desks beside each other, something we did whenever we could until we were assigned to different classes in junior high.

More pictures of Selena and me together flash through my mind, stopping when we're in the tenth grade. Selena's in my bedroom, tears streaming down her face. I hug her, asking what's wrong, but she starts to sputter and choke every time she speaks. I keep hugging her until she calms down enough for her sobs to become sniffles.

"We're moving in a month," she finally says, wiping the tears from her cheeks with her sleeve. "We're not going to live in Boston anymore." It takes me the better part of an hour to get the whole story. Her father is going to head up his law firm's new office in L.A., and her parents are taking her away from me. To hear her tell it, they're absolutely ruining her life.

Selena sleeps over at my house every night that week, refusing to be separated from me for a second longer than she has to be. Finally, her parents make her come home. When I'm alone again, for the first time in days, it hits me how distraught Selena is about moving thousands of miles away. It's only distance, I know, but she doesn't see it like that. If she's this upset about moving to another city, I don't want to think about what she'll be like if we're still close friends when I leave for The Life-After in a couple of years.

It takes a few days, but I make the decision I know I must. On the night of her family's going-away party, I do what I have to do. I let Amarleen see the party and the conversation in the garden. I let her see me walking away, and I let her see the tears I don't show Selena or anyone else. Then I let the memories fade.

It's the touch of Amarleen's hand on my shoulder that makes me open my eyes.

"I understand," she tells me, her voice softer than usual. She keeps her eyes on me. I can tell there's something else she wants to say.

"But?" I prompt her.

"But it's time to let go and let yourself be open. You keep yourself from seeing that. The past is a tricky thing and we let it define us when we should embrace the here and now, and all that's still coming. You need to let yourself live from a place of love, not from a place of fear over the things you can't control."

That all sounds good. Well, in theory. But it doesn't tell me what to do when it's the thought of hurting someone I love that makes me afraid.

Amarleen studies me. I know she heard that.

"I know you think your fears and what you're doing come from a place of love. Just remember that true love comes from love only, and it isn't based in fear. You'll know what to do when it's time if you can rise above the fear and let love win." I'm about to protest, but she stops me. "Trust in yourself, trust in the energy you've been working on, and trust what your heart and the voice inside of you tell you to do. And most importantly, don't let a downward spiral of energy influence what you do, or what you decide. Otherwise, it might not be your inner guidance helping you make your decision at all."

I feel warmth wash over me and know she's connecting her energy with mine. We sit there for a minute or two and I can feel my energy get stronger, little white and golden sparks dancing around me.

"Now if I'm not mistaken, I think you have some people waiting for you on the patio? You should go join your friends."

My friends. Maybe it's the strength of her energy connected with mine, but the thought makes me smile as I collect my yoga mat and head for the door.