I never had a great relationship with my parents, Ivy and I just couldn't really get along with them. They were our parents, they weren't our friends. They hated the fact that I took the first opportunity I could to move out to London. But what they hated even more was that I was dating Matty. After we'd been together for around six months, Matty and I went back to Wilmslow so I could meet his family, and he could meet mine. My parents despised Matty the moment they met him. They hated the fact that he wasn't studying at University, and that he was only focusing on his band. They hated the way he looked and the way he dressed. They didn't bother to look past their assumptions and see how great he was, and how much he loved me.
They're my parents, my own blood. But by being with Matty, they showed me just how cruel and arrogant they could be. I couldn't never forgive them for the way they treated Matty and I. The words that they called us, the way they treated Ivy for standing up for me. My parents would never forgive me for choosing Matty over them, even though they were the ones who pushed me away.
Once all the guests had arrived, we all took our seats on the three circular tables dressed in baby pink fabric set up in the backyard. Kristina had fallen asleep, so she was laying in her cot in the living room. Ivy was sitting outside, but refused to take her eyes off Kristina through the windows of the French doors.
While the people on the other two tables were chatting away, the tension was high on our table. Matty and I were sitting directly across from my parents. While Ivy, Hamish, Nina, Lionne, Zak and one of Ivy's friends filled the other seats. We were silently eating bits and pieces from the food platters. Mini sandwiches, sausage rolls, pasties. Basically all of Ivy's favourite foods.
"So.... Stephen and Tania. What have you guys been up to?" Nina began conversation, although she sounded uneasy while doing so.
"Fine, I suppose." My mum said, looking down in sadness. Clearly attempting to make the table feel sympathy for her.
Nina cleared her throat nervously, knowing exactly what my mother was like. "Uh, why's that?"
My mum exaggerated a sigh, "I mean, it's nice being here and all, but I just wish I could see my daughters more, you know?"
I scoff and shake my head, looking down at my plate. Silence engulfs the table and I look up to see everyone's eyes on me.
"What, Tatiana?" My mother questions me, faking a sad look on her face.
"Are you joking?" My eyes flicker over to Ivy, and I can tell by the look on her face that she's thinking the same as I am.
"Why are you doing this?" My father practically pleads.
I almost laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation. "I don't know. I mean, you guys didn't really seem like you wanted to continue calling me your daughter the last time I saw you in person."
My mother widens her eyes in disbelief. "What do you mean? Of course we still want to call you our daughter, we love you."
I drop my fork onto my plate, focusing my complete attention onto my parents. If they thought they could act completely innocent and try and gain some sort of sympathy from the people on this table, then they were going to regret it. "It didn't seem that way when you were kicking me out of your house, calling me a whore and telling me you never wanted to see me again." The table went silent, my parents eyes were burning holes through my skull. "When I was just living in a crappy apartment, and dating who you liked to call a 'drug -addicted loser, you wanted nothing to do with me. But the minute you saw me on television, you wanted to be in my life again."
"Tatiana, you are making this up. That was definitely not the case." My father says sternly before being interrupted by my sister.
"No. That was definitely the case."
My mother's face changes completely, she was turning into the monster I was familiar with. "We had a wonderful relationship before this prick came along."
"Don't call him that!" I shouted. This woman was completely unbelievable.
My father, of course, had to put in his piece. "Tatiana, open your eyes. This boy never loved you, he just wanted you for one thing only. He turned you into a complete bitch!" My stomach dropped and for a moment, I was left speechless.
Matty spoke up almost immediately, talking calmly but with obvious anger in his voice. "You could never see it could you? You two were always too blind-sighted by what you thought of me to see that Tati and I actually loved each other. You like to think that because I had an addiction, that I brought Tati down with me. But she's too good for that. Maybe I was an asshole for the most part of our relationship, but I sure as hell made sure I treated her a million times better than you two ever did. That's what she deserves. She stuck with me for four years and helped me out, she's an angel for that, and definitely not a bitch." I looked at Matty, realising the reason why I fell in love with him in the first place. I was putting our entire relationship in perspective at that moment. The good outweighed the bad, and I realised how I'd been focusing only on the bad during the past couple weeks. Matty wasn't perfect, but he loved me, and I was so in love with him.
I lifted myself off my seat as I felt tears brimming my eyes. I turned around and went into the house through the French doors, walking past a sleeping Kristina and settling in the hallway. I leaned my back against the wall and let the tears fall from my eyes. I covered my eyes with my hands, almost feeling ashamed with myself.
I felt a warm hand on my shoulder, causing me to look up and find Matty with a sad look on his face. I instantly pulled him into me, putting my head in the crook of his neck and letting my tears soak into his coat. "I'm sorry." I whispered.
"What in the world could you be sorry for, Tati?" He said sweetly.
I pulled away from him and sighed, wiping away my tears. "I'm sorry for treating you like my ex, and not a guy I was in love with." I took a deep, shaky breath. "I may not be in love with you anymore, but I still love you, deep down. How could I not be? You were my first love. And the past couple weeks, I've been trying to convince myself that our relationship was a mistake, or something. And it wasn't." I finally admitted to Matty, and myself, what had been simmering in the back of my brain.
"Being with you was the best thing to happen to me, and I'm sure you know that." Matty gave me a smile, I nodded. "You kissed me that night. I know I told you that I pushed you away, but I didn't. I couldn't help myself. I'm sorry." He looked down at the floor in embarrassment, even though I was the one who should have felt embarrassed.
"Nina and Lionne knew, didn't they?"
He sighed, "Yeah, but I told them not to say anything."
I wasn't sure how to feel. I didn't know whether to be mad at myself for doing that, or to be mad at Matty for not pushing me away, or even to be mad at Lionne and Nina for keeping it a secret. I guess it shouldn't be such a big deal, but something about this revelation was bugging me. There was too much going on, too much was happening in one day that I was beginning to feel completely overwhelmed. I needed to be alone.
"I need to leave." I said simply, turning on my heel and walking to the front door, leaving Matty behind me like I usually did.
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The story's gonna get crazy from here yay
