1.9

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before i could even remember how to breathe, i was already inside, next to you, the sound of my sharp shallow breathing lost under the roar of the engine and the rattle of the make-shift trolley bed. the ride to the hospital suddenly became the most terrifying out of anything else, for every bump that the ambulance made, my anxiety peaked higher.

"his vitals are dipping hard", one paramedic even alerted. i knew that they were trying to help, but their words just bounced right off me. it was demoralizing but all i cared about now was for you to be okay.

lying on the bed, i saw you struggling to keep your eyes open to meet my gaze and it pained me a lot to see you like this.

look just what have they done to you? shot you right in your kidneys and yet you still turned up for the wedding?

"were you even in the right mind?", i sniffled my tears when i saw the plight you were in.

you were actually slipping in and out of consciousness, but even so, you made an effort to stay awake. suddenly, i felt your cold, clammy hands feeling firmly for mine and looking up, i saw that you were slowly removing the oxygen mask from your face. muttering out the words softly, i leaned against your chest to figure out what you were trying to say.

"i want you to live happily, so now. g-give me your hand,"

doing as told, i clasped hard onto your hand in sheer urgency and right then, i felt you desperately slipping something into my palm.

"y-your answer plus promise. and also, i love y-you,"

and that was the last thing you said to me before your arm slipped off from my grip.

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i'm emoing :"( anw, next is the last.

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