Envy (Sequel to Deceit)

Unwanted Visitors

The revelation didn't shock me. I guess deep down I had known all along; just as I had suspected what was wrong with me from the earliest signs. I was almost certain. I just had to be sure and if it was what I thought it was... everything would be different. I knew that I could not go on living like this, it would not be enough, it would be too dangerous. For the first time in my life I wanted to make a change; I wanted to fix the world, to do something rather than just sit back and watch it go by. The fact that I had just let people dictate my life had never occurred to me before this moment. I was weak, far too weak.

Fear is perhaps my biggest weakness of all, I do what is easy not what is right and that's what mucks things up; Merlin knows if I hadn't made those choices I would be dead though. Or worse. Freedom is a luxury, not one which should be taken for granted but you see it in their faces; each clueless Hufflepuff, each smiling Gryffindor, each clever Ravenclaw, even some from my own house. They have it, yet they barely appreciate it. Sometimes I wonder where the Gryffindor courage would go if their freedom was snatched away. Would it still burn defiantly or fizzle into nothing? Perhaps one day I would find out.

According to Sirius, Xander was due back that afternoon having been doing some work overseas with a small group, something I was not particularly pleased about. So, rather begrudgingly, I returned to Hogwarts. It was quiet, unusually so; the usual buzz of chatter was only a quiet hum and the corridors were near empty. I had a small vial of my potion in my pocket that I had taken upon departure from Grimmauld Place but it was only enough to last an hour or so. It was imperitive that I was not discovered out of class. Inevitably though, I was.

The ever stern Professor McGonagall just happened to be traversing the corridors as I was trying to sneak back to the dorms; being much more observant than Filch she spotted me immediately.

"Miss Fox, shouldn't you be in lessons?" She scolded, her voice filled with disapproval. 

"I left my wand in my dorm," I replied, not exactly a lie.  

She raised a brow sceptically, "very well" she muttered, "but don't let me catch you again" 

With that she strode away in the opposite direction.

It did not take me long to get to the dorms and back and that's when I saw him. He stood there, his neck craning and hushed conversation passed from his lips as he talked to the half giant before him. My heart skipped a beat and it was without hesitation that I ran to him.

"Xander!" I exclaimed, practically throwing myself into him. His warm as wrapped around my waist and a familiar feeling of calm engulfed my body, "where have you been? What are you doing here?" The stream of questions slipped from my lips so quickly that they seemed to be only one.  

"Hush," he whispered, bending his head to mine; as he did so a thin trickle of blood ran down his cheek, instantly drawing my attention. 

"Xander, you're hurt," I fussed, "is it bad? How did you do it?" 

"Hagrid, perhaps you could give us a moment," Xander murmured, turning towards him. Hagrid said his farewells and trudged away in the direction of his cabin nursing a particularly horrid looking black eye.

"Where have you been?" I hissed. 

He looked at me for a moment as though weighing up his options then sighed, "we went to parlay with the giants..." 

"You idiots," I groaned "did anyone see you?" 

"We only came across a small group of them, managed to keep out of sight though," he grinned, glad of his avoidance. I shook my head in disbelief, "you were very lucky"