Christmas Struggle

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Hindi buong buhay ng isang kaydet girl ay umiikot lang sa Cadete nia. 

Being a kg is also learning to be independent and doing her own thing. :)

Im home.

Every December we had this Home Coming Event in our little town. It is a 3day event where in all alumni's of our highschool school is going to have a mini Olympics. Its like intramurals where   there are ball games, singing and dances.

We the alumni's are divided into 4 groups according to the place we are studying. The Baguio Chapter, The Viscaya Chapter, Masafedics and Home Chapter.

I am Baguio Chapter's coordinator. Hahay.. trabaho manen

This is my fun moments of calling our little town Home.

In my first week here hirap ako. Since Boyfriend is still at PMA communications are still take life. Worst is whenever he calls at night I cant answer it.

Parents restriction. My room is besides my parents room so even at my lowest voice my mom can hear me calling. Huhuhuhu Yez hindi po kami legal ni Boyfriend. Kaya bawal.

Nu bayan... urg>< c PAti ba naman sa bahay hindi ko xia makausap ng maayos.

Ok Coordinator Duties na. Lights Music then Dance, practice moments. Eto ang pinag bubuhusan ko ng oras pag since Cadet is busy. Ayoko naman mag mukmok at antayin lang xiA ...gosh boring yun sabi nga nila #kgqoute Don't wait in vain. Do your thing!!

Sa mga sumunod na gabi lagi na akong nasa labas at nakauwi na daw pala si Boyfriend sa province din nila. Finally nakakausap ko na din xia ng maayos. My brother is pissed naman if he comes to sleep in my room and im always on telebabad.

Home coming na. Oh my gosh wala na talagang ikatutwa ang puso ng isang alumni kundi Makita ang kanilang mga batchmates nung highschool. Makikita mo pa kung sino sino ang nagtransform hahaha pero of course hindi porket batchmates tayo I will lower our flags to being a looser. NO no no.

I played volleyball today. Nakakmis din kasi ung mga old hobbies nung highschool. On First game I saw ate Farah on the court then I remember she's also a Kaydet Girl. In my mind I wana talk to her, ask her what it feels, share stories and get some advice. Coz I know she's the only one who can understand what is it like to be. The pain, the waiting and the being a kaydet girl.

To cut Home Coming short, I was crowned 1st Home Coming Queen this last night of the event. It was unbelievable actually. Baguio Chapter got 2nd place over all championship. "wow I think I manage it well" For a coordinator like me it was grrreaaatnesss and successss!!!!!!!

Homecoming last night. This is to enjoy our self through a dance.

Pero some issues takes place.

"Ate ate, Kuya Louis is here." said one of my members.

"what????!!!" Napalingon ako side by side. Then I saw him at the entrance. Eye to eye locked.

Louis is my ex boyfriend. We broke up just a month before I come to knew My Cadet. FIY he doesn't know I have a boyfriend now.

Nilapitan nia ako but I turned around ignoring him. Seeing him was refreshing the pain inside of me. I can still remember how he destroyed me. It was like yesterday. I was angry seeing him.

The next day I was busted together with my friends. We were drinking enjoying our selves in celebration of the finished Event. My friends kept me in a hot sit asking things what happened between Louis and Me. Gosh I feel so dizzy.. and I know you know pag lasing wala yang secreto. I told them everything. Ayun baliw na ata ako tonight.

I made a call to Louis.

5 min. Nasa harapan ko na siya.

"P*ta!!!. Shh*t. Fu** kin*m."

I cant believe nasabi ko to lahat sa kanya. Minura ko xia. Bad girl. Pero wala na akong pake lahat nan g galit ko binuhos ko sa kaya. This was our first meeting since we broke up. I took the opurtunity to said everything in my heart. Feeling ko kasi pag hindi ko sinabi it will forever consume me.

We were at the veranda of the Bar.

"Bakit ka pa ba bumalik?? Para makipagbalikan>> p*tng ina mo!!!" deretso kong sabi sa kanya

"Jane Im sorry. Oo tama ka Im here to seek your heart again. The moment you were gone. Alam ko na kasalan ko" paliwanag nia.

Mahal ko xia. Besides ex ko naman xia. Pero ung galit ko sa kanya nangingibabaw,  hindi ko manlang magawang patawarin ang lalaking nasa harap ko.,
. Hindi ko din magawang maapreciate ung all the way to Manila he drive his motorcycle just to reach me and tell me he still loves me.

Manhid na kung manhid.

Sa mga oras na ito. Nawala sa isip ko si Cadet. It was only me and my Ex.

He held my hand to him but I struggled to let it free.

"Were done" I whispered.

After getting ourselves busted My friends and I were laying at the plaza stage like old days. Were staring at the night wondering.
Then a ring tone bush in
Cadet sent a message;;;

"Jane nakausap ko si Ex ko. I was at their house kanina. Pinapunta nia ako"

Hmp Maybe nagkabalikan na sila. Sabi ko sa isip ko

"kamusta" reply ko

"nakikipag balikan ngay siya"

Pinikit ko na ang mga mata ko. Kinabahan naman ako kahit lasing. Then I did not dare sent another message to him. I don't want any badnews. Tama na ang isa sa araw na ito. Tama na ang isang struggle ko kay ex.

"Sabi ko pero my special girl na ako" txt ulit nia,

A smile drew on my lips.

" Iloveyou" message sent. 

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