Half A Heart || BTS V Fiction

1 -The Call

“Hello?”

Was the first thing I ever heard on the line.
My Tae...how long have it been since I last heard your voice?
How have you been?
I'm afraid. I don't want to speak. I don't want you to hear my voice and remember all those sh*ts I did.

“Hello? Can’t you hear me?” the person on the other line spoke again.

I can clearly hear you My Tae. My heart does. And everytime I do, I can't hide the fact that I still want to be with you.
But I can't... I can't find the courage to face you.

"Hello? I still have so much things to do. I'll hang up."

My Tae... I still can't understand myself. I lost my value since I left you.
How have you been? I think you found yourself when I left you. As look at you from a far, I see you grew strong without me.

"Hello?"

I lost myself just by hearing your voice.
I tried to direct myself and composed a word.

"ehh... uhhmm.. Hello?" I uttered low.

I want to tell you so much things but... everything was stucked in my throat, and it makes breathing hard.

"Yes. Hi!" you answered immediately.

How have you been? Can I still call you My Tae?
If only you know how much I miss you.

“Is this Mr. Kim Taehyung?” I tried to answer you forcing myself to sound professional while holding my tears that are threatening to fall.

“Yes. It’s me. May I know your intentions of calling?” he asked.

I draw my attention to the thing I am holding.
Its leathery texture and musky scent never fails to remind me about the warmth you give to people My Tae.

“I believed that you own this coat that I have.”

I lied.
I know this is yours.
Do you still remember the delight during that evening?
Do you still remember the rainy moments we shared with this coat?
Do you still remember the us that we used to have?
Because I do Taehyung-ah... I clearly do. It's like a movie that keeps on playing on my mind every time and every moment that I think about you.

“What coat do you mean?”

He asked sounding puzzled.
Maybe it's not that important now.
Maybe I'm not that important now.
After all... I caused your sufferings. I left.

“It’s black. It was made by Gucci. You might have left this at Munchies.” I said.

Few seconds later I heard some rumblings on the other line. Maybe he was trying to figure out if he really lost this coat that I am holding right now.
Not so long after, he spoke again.

“Oh Thank God you found it. How did you know my number?” He asked.

“Forgive me, but I actually searched inside it and found a calling card. I just grabbed my chance of calling the number on it expecting that it would be you.”

I lied once more.
I always keep your numbers Taehyungie.
I act like your stalker, or I maybe am your stalker. Since I was back, I always keep an eye on you. Hoping that someday, I would find the courage to throw away the fears that I have and face you and hug you and talk to you and kiss you... like what we used to.

“Thank you so much for your concern, Miss?”

But everytime I remember you... I also remember my stupidity.
It is frightening.
I don't want to hurt you once more.
So I prohibit myself... and contained this feeling.

“No need to know my name Mr. Kim. You can fetch your coat tomorrow at Munchies sir. I will...” I stopped for a moment. You must not see me My Tae. You must not. Just don't.
“I will just leave this to the mascot.” I continued.
But still I am hoping that you would pursue... and find a way that you would meet me. Like how you used to.

“Owwwkaayyy... thank you so much. That coat means so much to me. As of what my mother said, that was given to me by a special person." He stated.

So, you can't remember me.
It is relieving and depressing at the same moment after hearing those words.

"Anyway, why not you give it to me tomorrow and we’ll have a short talk? I would like to treat you a coffee. ” he offered, sounding hopeful.

I would love to say yes Tae but... I can't.
It's not like I wouldn't... I must not.
I took a deep breath.

“I’ll hang-up. I still have many things to do.” I replied.

“But, allow me to know your name. I might offer you some token of gratitude some ti..." I'm sorry I have to cut this off Tae. Just forget that this happened.

“Good bye.” Then I turned off the phone as tears slid down my face, again.

Our last talk was the most painful moment in my life, yet.
You pleaded for me to stay, but I left. I left you for no good. I hurt you a lot Tae.
Months later, I heard news that he had been in a serious car accident. He almost died, but I was greatful the doctors saved him. He suffered great injury but atleast he's fine, though people told me that something worst did happened. I never expect that the worst thing they meant was this painful. Amnesia.
Being hated is easier than being forgotten.
Now, after all of the pain I caused, I am back again.
Now, after all those years I am back again.
I missed him.
I cried again hugging his coat.