The Akatsuki's pet cat? ~a Naruto fanfiction~

Chapter 16~ Chunin Chimichangas! (Or somethin'...)

~Noroi's POV

I yawned and stretched my arms, as cats do. That siesta was great... Especially after tearing up most of Sasuke's stuff...

Oh yeah. Sasuke. They must be at the chunin exams right now. Shit.

I groaned and hopped up from my place of sleep, heading out the door/hole in a rush.

I headed for the bridge that they had met at last time, but they weren't there! NOW WHAT?!

Oh yeah. Cat senses. Duh.

....

How do I use them...


*~*~*<3*~*~*

~Omniscient POV

Naruto was sent spiraling across the floor with a swift kick from Rock Lee, the bowl-headed bushy eyebrowed boy. He smacked the wall and knocked out, unconscious with the same dopey look on his face.

Of course, no one really moved to help him. Kind of obvious.

Lee stood straight again, staring directly into Sasuke's probably unexisting soul with his big bushed eyes.

"I told you, I only wish to fight Sasuke Uchiha." Lee spoke seriously. Sasuke smirked at Lee's words, getting in a fighting position (Lee had been in his for like 20 minutes..).

Sakura, who would've been forgotten weren't it for her loud voice and Lee's love attacks flying at her, yelled, "We have to check in to the exams soon!"

Sasuke spoke as arrogantly as always. "Don't worry. This won't take long."

Then they charged at each other.

Around this time was when Noroi showed up.

She watched the fight amusedly, seeing Sasuke get his ass handed to him.

'Wow. Must be devastating for him. His group of fan girls will only want to stalk him 76% of the time after this.' She said sarcastically in her mind, rolling her feline eyes at the passed out Naruto. She didn't feel like interfering, so she just sat by Naruto and experimented with how many senbon needles she can stab into Naruto without hurting him. Like acupuncture. But less professional and done by a cat without opposable thumbs.

Eventually, Sasuke got kicked into the air by Lee's leaf whirlwind and Lee had had some arm wrappings begun to unfold. Suddenly a ninja turtle (being quite literal here,) appeared and yelled at Lee, scolding him as a parent would a child.

Sasuke was left to fall to the floor. Sakura did something useful, in a way, and helped catch Sasuke.

The turtle lectured Lee, and Noroi had gave up on her acupuncture after the 13th needle, only to barely notice the large reptile. The cat grinned mischievously, licking her lips.

'Food~! I never tried turtle before... Are turtles edible..? Who cares! Probably tastes like chicken~!' Noroi got up and ran to the turtle, pouncing and gnawing on its head. The turtle and Lee both stopped their conversation cold and stared.

Naruto recovered a while ago, and noticing the preying Noroi, he ran over from where he was conversing with Sakura and Sasuke and attempted to pull the hissing Noroi off the turtle.

"Bad kitty! Bad! No biting the turtle-sensei!" His attempt only was able to earn him a few scratches.

The turtle rolled its eyes, continuing what it was saying, "Well then, as I was saying, please come out Guy-sensei!"

A cloud of white smoke erupted from the top of the turtle's shell, and once it cleared, Noroi mewed in fear and ran to hide behind Sasuke. Naruto backed away with widened eyes, seeming to speak for all when he shouted loudly.

"WHOA! HE'S A BIGGER VERSION OF LEE! WHAT'S WITH HIS EYEBROWS?!" Naruto shouted loudly and pointed, Noroi nodding in agreement.

"Hey! Don't make fun of Guy-sensei! he's the greatest there ever was!" Lee shouted back. Guy walked to Lee and rested a hand on his shoulder.

"It's ok Lee. Some people have a harder time realizing power when they see it!"

Noroi hissed at them. 'Hey! The only arrogant one here is me! and maybe Sasuke but he's a jerk so that just comes with it!'

Guy looked over at the noise, and both Naruto and Noroi screeched, "ITS LOOKING AT US!"

"Ah, you must be Kakashi's team!"

"'IT SPEAKS!'"

"Ahaha! What a youthful group he has!"

'OMFG HE USES BIG WORDS NO ONE USES ANYMORE!' Noroi screamed again, and Naruto seemed to scream again in agreement.

"Aha...?" Guy's laughter slowed to a stop when he realized they weren't stopping their panicking. All of the non-screamers stood awkwardly, waiting for Noroi and Naruto to stop.

They didn't, of course. So everyone headed their separate ways (Guy and Lee to run around the village 5(?) times, Sasuke and Sakura dragging a Naruto with the black cat on its head).



~Noroi's POV

Surprisingly, being dragged by your tail by an overly dramatic goth kid isn't as fun as it seems.

After Naruto and I had quit our ceremonial screeching ritual that is said to keep creeps in green spandex who have bushy eyebrows a safe distance away, Sasuke yanked me EVER SO GENTLY off of Naruto's hair (to which I was clinging onto for dear life). Then the Satanic Sakura yanked NARUTO off the floor and proceeded to pummel his face in. His blonde head was covered in lumps and bruises, and one bald spot from where I had my claws before I was removed by Sasuke.

He looked as beautiful as Bruce Jenner <3

Anyway, we soon reached our desired floor. I wasn't paying attention. I was feeling the blood rush to my head and trying to force it back.

Though I remember some girl get shoved by some douchey looking kids at the entrance, then Sasuke saying something about us being in a genjutsu and not being on the correct floor in the first place.

AND GET THIS. NICE-GUY SASUKE GIVES SAKURA THE CREDIT.

It was a kind gesture and all, but I dont ship it. I ship Sasuke and a rabid raccoon, and Sakura with Lee.

Come to think of it... who else do I ship?

I mumbled about the chemistry between people and my shippings, not paying attention, per the norm. When I finally decided NaruRamen was my favorite, I saw that we were in a classroom full of beautiful Kardashians watching us.

No, it actually wasn't KARDASHIAN bad, it was just some creepy ninjas looking like they could eat our hearts then go brag about it to our friends. Jerks. How dare they look like they'd do something like that.

Among the crowd I noticed Gaara and his pimp crew. I waved a hello and was only greeted with narrowed eyes. Psh. Whatever. His eyes are good enough anyway.

Suddenly, a large overbearing blonde force glomped Sasuke. I wouldn't have had a problem with this, weren't it for the fact that it has caused Sasuke to accidentally (maybe not..) drop me to the floor.

I groaned and rolled around on the floor. I smacked my head, and now my tail was sore from all the pulling. I hate all these people. I wonder how much trouble a cat would be in if it killed about 30 people?

No, bad thoughts! That's too much of a mess to clean!

I sighed and sat up, rubbing my head with a hiss. The group of stupid preteens just chattered loudly, not really noticing the death glares from the older-than-preteen people. Hell, some of them looked around 40.

Some ninja with lame musical note symbols on their headbands approached Kabuto. Kabuto I didn't mention previously for a simple reason.

I didn't like him.

You know how cats just hate certain people for no apparent reason? This was it. Though I hate a lot of people, so he may just be another casualty to my cruelty.

Anyway, the choir ninja came up to him and was like, 'blah you're a knowitall bitch,' and Kabuto was like, 'nuh uh you did not just call me that you stupid ho,' and then Naruto was all like, 'BELIEVE IT,' and Sasuke was all, 'Hn,' and Sakura was all like, 'OMFGWTFLOLROFLCOPTERSCREECHRAWRRITSSHARKWEEKNOMNOMNOM'.

Good luck telling which parts I lied about, people who I assume to be in my head.

I grew bored of attempting to sarcastically narrate everything from my spot on the floor. I pushed myself up with my tail and stretched. the hell do I do know?

1) Mess with Gaara?

2) Mess with the Rookies?

3) Mess with all the other genin from other nations?

4) Kill everything?

5) Ditch them and find the Akatsuki and use my vacation days now?

6) Make a list of what I can do and take a nap?

I think I know which one works best :3

'Who can I trust to let me sleep..? Not Sakura, I'd drown in perfume. Sasuke? No, his hair looks to have more gel in it than normal. Gaara would kill me, and I don't know anyone else.' I sighed and walked to the only neon orange ninja I knew. 'Naruto it is then.'

I jumped onto Naruto's head, gaining stopped conversations and stares from everyone except Naruto. He kept talking as everyone stared at his head. He didn't even notice.

I purred in content and walked in that circles cats do and lay down comfortably. If anything happens, I have the loud annoying voice of Naruto as an alarm and a recap of what I missed~







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Please don't eat my nonexistent soul? ;3; *holds chapter a safe distance away on a stick* TAKE IT! QwQ

I've had writers block, and I'm lazy .3. So yeah.

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Deliver chimichangas to the Noroi overlord! >:D