＃ＲａｙＨａｃｋｓ

vi

I don't really know what I'm doing here. I'm tired as hell and high off so much pain, it's weird I'm still conscious. Everything led me here, so here I am. I opened my phone and this is where I ended up.
Jaramina.. It has been a long (almost) two and a half years.
January 9, 2013, we started talking. I do actually remember the date, as shit as my memory is on dates.
Mmph. I'm tired.
I still remember when I first talked to Zeke. Talking about Grace, way back then. Skylar. All these memories about people, and things and ideas.
I just checked my notifications. I have too many emails. And contacts. And messages. I should clean it out. Eh.
Inside jokes. We have too many, I have been told. But, I ask, is there such a thing as too many inside jokes with someone you have known and someone you love so much? I think not. She tells me that but pfft. I mean, she and Izzy have about as many as we do. Her and I also have quite a few. Probably more than us. I mean, no offence, but I have known her like ten years. Some seven and a half years longer than you.
This is so stupid. Not that I do not know what to say, but that I have to think so hard. You know why it is stupid? Because I don't have to think so hard around you. I wasn't lying when I said in your biography that people are not afraid to be themselves around you. It is really easy. Its kinda irritating me that I'm having to actually think. I don't have to think around you. Everything about you that I say, all the compliments I shower you with, all of them come naturally. Everything around you is mindless. So I can be numb and still talk to you fine.
Ha. My phone knows me so well. I typed 'toy' instead of you and it autocorrected. I am smart to have turned it on.
Maybe this should be a lot longer, but I don't know. I don't know what it should and shouldn't be. I just know what it is.
And this? This is a hot fucking mess. Worse than V. Which is saying something.
But it is truth.
I love you, baby.
xx
18.06.16 7.36AM.

And one last thing; I am working on the story. Slowly. v.v Shush.

I lied. One more thing. I hope this is something nice for you to awaken to. <3 I really do love you, even as shit as I can be at showing it.
Alright, going now.