Allyson Reed shapes her life to make her parents proud, but whenever she's with Daxson Winters, the star wide receiver with a troubled past, her perfectly-crafted existence crumbles at the seams.
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"You've been depressed for like two weeks now, Allyson." Camila flipped my book closed with the flick of her wrist before placing her hands on her hips.
"I haven't been depressed. I've been busy with my school work." My eyes flashed to the sticky note that marked the chapter I had been studying in my book. "My chemistry test this Friday isn't going to be easy."
Camila smacked my hand when I tried to reach for the sticky note. "Stop lying to me. You've been in your feelings since that Saturday with Daxson. You've been unusually quiet, and I'm pretty sure I've only seen you eat like three nights." She pointed one of her fingers at me. "I think there is a little more going on than you want to admit, girl."
In Camila's mind, Daxson and I had officially been a couple. She thought our break-up had left me heartbroken. In reality, Daxson and I had just agreed to be friends. All week she asked me if I wanted to talk about my feelings, but I really just wanted to study for my upcoming chemistry test and answer phone calls from my mother. My eyes flashed to the episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta playing on the T.V. behind her.
"I haven't been in my feelings because there were never any feelings between us. We're just friends. No big deal." I shrugged as I turned my attention back to her in time to watch her analyze her nails.
After a few weeks of separation from Daxson, I found myself starting to worry about him. Why was he in therapy? What did his therapy goals have to do with hanging out with me? There were still a bunch of things I wanted to learn about him, but he had told me he was working through some stuff, so I didn't want to push him too far.
"Is that what he told you?" Camila asked.
"Yeah, he told me it wasn't going anywhere between us." I shrugged as I turned my chair to face the desk again. "So, we're friends. I don't really see what the big deal is."
Camila bent to place her elbows on my desk and rested her chin in her hands. "Do you really believe he meant what he said?"
I believed him because I knew he could have any girl he wanted. Daxson tried to let me down easy before I did something stupid, like kiss him.
"I don't have a reason to not believe him. Madison told me he doesn't usually talk to white girls, so to think he would consider dating one was stupid of me."
"You aren't stupid; you're human. It's easy to fall for something different, especially for you because you're from a small town." She pushed my shoulder with a teasing smile on her lips. "I just don't want you to think that because it didn't work out, it means you aren't good enough."
Camila tried her best to make me feel better, but the truth of the matter?
I wasn't good enough. I'd never be good enough.
I couldn't even make my own mother proud, so why did I think I could impress Daxson Winters? He had a bright future ahead of him and someone like me would hold him back. It was best for both of us if we just stayed friends.
