Support Group: Part Two (REVISED)

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"Hi, I'm Allison."

"Hi, Allison."

"I'm an addict. I've been clean for a month now."

"We're proud of you Allison."

Oh boy, am I ever going to get tired of this? (The answer: yes. Already have.)

Nurse Addy, the one who's been in charge of me during my stay in the infirmary, stands in the doorway. (She says it's her way of making sure I don't 'stress' my body while I'm at the group, but I'm pretty sure she's just making sure I don't go off the wall again.)

I sit down, right hand resting on the freshly-healed gashes on my left arm. They still make me dizzy. They still sting when I think of that day. But, they're not scabbed, just a little pink and swollen.

We do the same shit we do every week, going around in a circle-jerk of confessions with everything ranging from addicts, cutters, and anorexics. Is it sad that I'm all three?

When we're done, I make my way to find the coffee. It smells gross, tastes just the same but it's hot, soft, and gentle on my throat which is still healing from the strep it's gone through for the past few days (hyperventilating isn't good for the sinuses.)

When I reach to grab another Dixie cup full of the mediocre coffee, a hand snatches it away. I look next to me and see Jessa, firey hair pulled into a ponytail and the bags under her eyes more purple than ever.

"You need help with that?" She says, like a snarl from a wolf.

"I..."

"Anxious? Heh, you'll get over it. Here, have your coffee," she shoves a cup back in my hand, half the contents spilling out and onto my palm and burning it. "Wanna hear a story? It's about a girl with pretty, silky, blonde hair and she's a little crazy."

I wish I could even fathom what to say in this moment but my mind is a mixture of anxiety and fear, two things that cripple me when they take over.

"She's a thin docile barbie doll, who still thinks she's gonna leave this place alive," Jessa whispers, pinning me to the coffee table, "and she's gonna find out the truth. She's gonna find out real quick. Should nice Miss Jessa tell her?"

She smells like alcohol, like vomit. I hold my breath as my whole body shakes to the bone. I can vaguely hear someone calling for Nurse Addy.

"Miss Jessa has seen the bodies," she growls, "they're decomposing in Hall 20. They tried to kill Jessa. They call me crazy, Allison, they call me insane-"

"Yo, the fuck?"

Heroin. Thank fucking god.

He runs over and throws Jessa off me, putting his body in front of me as a shield. Addy follows close behind, grabbing Jessa by her wrist.

"What the fuck is your problem Jessa?" He asks, not budging from where he's protecting me. "Someone forget to tranquilize your ass this morning?"

She smirks and laughs loudly. "She's gonna be next, they love the pretty ones in Hall 20. They love 'em blonde, love 'em skinny-"

"That's enough Jessa!" Nurse Addy yells, pulling her off me as she continues to scream and blabber and god, I need to stop coming to these meetings.

Heroin steps away once she's gone, turning around and looking at me.

"You okay, Shakey?"

I nod. "I'm not okay, but I'm not dead. So...not doing too bad."

"If she ever bothers you again, let me-"

Two big bangs ring out and the door bursts open, quickly followed by a "where the fuck is she?"

Oh boy. Blue.

She darts over, arms immediately coming to hug me and I hold her waist. Her breathing is erratic and she squeezes like I'll slip away, so I embrace just as tight to try and calm her.

"Where's the crazy bitch?" She snaps, jerking away suddenly. "What's she telling you? Is she trying to hurt you?"

Blue grabs my hand and I wince, still tender from the hot coffee spilt.

Well, that was a mistake. Blue becomes practically inconsolable, ranting and raving and screaming and trying to run off to "kill her, I swear to god I'll fucking kill her!"

"Blue," I say, as calm as I can manage, "it's just a little sore, and she didn't say anything, okay? I'm fine."

"Your hand is burnt and you're shaking," she responds, "she did this and she needs to get-"

I cup her cheek in my hand, feeling it's hot temperature and soothing it. Blue pushes against it, taking a deep breath.

"She's gone now. We don't have to worry. You don't have to worry," I tell her.

Blue moves her hands from her sides to my hips, holding them gently. "You're still going to tell me what she told you, right?"

I nod. "Every word."

She leans in and kisses my cheek softly, hugging me again and even though I would've killed to be in this very position two weeks ago, I can barely focus on Blue.

She's gonna be next, my mind screams, they love the pretty ones in Hall 20.

Something tells me I need to know more. So, so much more.

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