Stigma | h.s #Wattys2016

Chapter 1

I woke up to the sound of my voice calling out for my mother. My bed was soaked from sweat dripping down my back, my face was hot and wet from the salty tears. The room was dark and cold, I could hear the wind outside my window pushing against the trees. My chest was moving rapidly and my breaths were getting shorter. My eyes darted around the room looking for something, anything to tell me what was going on.

But my body couldn't move.

I tried to scream at the top of my lungs, nothing came out. I could hear it, but no one else could. I was shaking, crying. I tried to use all my strength to move me and nothing happened. I heard the door crack open, just slightly so I could see a small white light in the distance. It began to open farther and a black figure walked in. I threw my head back against the pillow and kept hitting it, praying it wouldn't hurt me.

Wake up, you have to wake up. Wake up.

The figure got closer, more of them began to flood the room. The door slammed shut and I tightened my eyes. My fists gripped the bed sheets, then I soon gripped my skin. Pulling at my legs, digging my nails into them. The figures kept getting closer. They didn't have faces, it were just a long, thick shadow.

I continued to throw my head back, screaming in my head. Tears were covering my face, and running down into my nose and mouth. Sweat was dripping down my forehead and getting into my eyes. My legs felt cold from the blood seeping through them from my nails.

"Wake up, its just a dream! Wake up!" I heard a voice say. It was faint but felt so real. My eyes darted around the room again to find that the figures were gone, my door was closed. It looked normal. Like my original room.

"Olivia! Wake up!" the voice kept getting louder. It felt so close to me that I could reach out and grab it. My fingers were no longer in my legs and my shoulders were being pinned down.

Suddenly my eyes opened and I gasped. I looked around my room to see that my mother, father and my older brother were standing in my room trying to wake me up. I jumped to my elbows and wiped my forehead. Sweat was transferred to my arms and blood was covering my hands. My face felt puffy and was hot from all the tears. My legs were cut with nail marks and were drying of the blood. My bed sheets were thrown to the floor and my bed was soaked.

"Olivia.. you had another nightmare." my older brother Josh said resting his hand on my shoulder. My lips parted trying to say something. But nothing came out. My parents walked out of the room and into the hallway, leaving Josh and I alone. I could hear them talking, they were talking about me.

"We have to take her.. this isn't healthy." is all I could hear come from my father's mouth. Josh reached down and grabbed my sheets handing them to me. I grabbed them but threw them once I saw the red stain. I stood up from my bed and immediately walked to the bathroom, ignoring my mothers grip on my arm trying to pull me back.

I locked the door and sat down on the edge of the tub. I wasn't breathing fast, but I was breathing heavy and loud. Tired and exhausted. I stood up and went for the cabinets above the sink. I opened a bottle of my sleeping pills and took two. I would need these to go back to sleep. I washed my face and looked into the mirror. My eyes were red, purple marks were forming underneath my eyes, my ears were bright red and I had a pain in the back of my head.

I washed the blood from my finger nails and washed off my legs. The pain stung but I sucked it up and sat back down. I took a few deep breaths when I heard a knock on the door.

"Olivia? It's Josh.. can you let me in?" he asked. It took me a minute before I could open it. But I did. Josh walked in and locked it behind him. He sat across from me on the floor and rested his back onto the cabinets. His face was flushed and his eyes were bloodshot as well. I picked at my nails and tried to avoid the silence.

"Olivia. What happened?" Josh asked sitting criss crossed leaning towards me. Josh was the only one that knew exactly what happens in my nightmares. I could never tell my parents. Never. No matter how much I wanted too, I couldn't.

"Olivia, you need to tell me." he said grabbing my hands from me, but I pulled them back right away.

"They came back..the black figures." I stuttered. The black figures were all I dreamt about. They came often. I was lucky to get one night without them haunting me. It was always the same damn thing too. The come in, my body is frozen in one spot, my cries are silent, and I always am woken up before they can do anything to me.

Josh's head went down and he shook his head. "We need to get you some help."

My head shot up and looked him in the eyes. "I know, but we can't. Not now."

"This has been going on for months. Every time we tell you we need to get help for you, you refuse or say that you'll be better. If anything they have gotten worse Olivia. They're going from hardly ever to multiple times a week. We can't have this happening to you. Look at you. Your eyes are basically closed shut from crying, your legs are now going to turn into scars. This is the worst one you've had in a while."

I knew he was right, he was always right. I needed to get help but I didn't want to. I wanted to know what would happen at the end of my nightmare. Would they kill me? Would they kill everyone I cared about? If I were to get treatment I would never know what happens and that just might kill me itself.