Stigma | h.s #Wattys2016

Chapter 4

I didn't know where I was going, all I did was throw my bag in the car and drove off. It was getting late and I had no idea where I was. All I saw was lights coming from the cities farther away and cars driving near me.

I had left the house hours ago, I was pissed off at Josh. I know that he wants me to get help to make these stop but it really isn't that easy. I wanted help too, but I wanted to do it on my own terms. These were my nightmares and I didn't want my whole family in on the gig.

I pulled over onto the side of the road and rested my head on the steering wheel. I had school the next day but I really didn't feel like going. I was way too tired, who knows what time I'll get to where ever I was going tonight. I reached over and pulled my phone out of my bag, I had turned it off earlier because I was not going to have my parents bothering me, or Josh. I turned it on and numerous calls were made to me by my parents. I didn't call them back, I called Harry.

"Hello?" he said in a groggy voice, I woke him up.

"Were you sleeping?" I asked, I glanced over at the dash to see what time it was, it was 12:43 am of course he was sleeping.

"No Olivia, it's 12:43 am I was out riding my ponies and feeding my magical turtles." he paused, for some reason I didn't find his humor funny at this hour. "Of course I was sleeping. What's up?" he finally asked.

"Can I come over?" I asked him. I knew it was late but there was no way in hell that I was going back to my house. I could not bare what was waiting for me there.

"Now? It's late.."

"Please." I interrupted.

"Yeah, yeah, I guess. Where are you?" he asked me. I looked around trying to figure out where I was but I had no idea.

"No idea, I can just put your address in my phone and use the gps. I'll be there soon." then I hung up. I put his address into my phone, I was far away from home. It was going to take me another 45 minutes to get to Harry's house. I turned on the radio and listened to the quiet music.

At around 1:30 am I finally got to Harry's house, he was sitting on his porch steps holding two mugs.

I pulled into his driveway and his head perked up and smiled lightly.

"Here." he said handed me the mug, the smell of coffee filled my nose as I sat down next to him.

"Thank you." I said taking a sip. The warm liquid calmed me down and I felt a light weight come off my shoulders.

"Are you okay? I know I have asked you that so many times today, I know you won't tell me. But I want you too. I really want you to tell me what it going on with you." he said looking out, he was freezing. How long as he been out here waiting for me?

"Harry, it's not that easy to tell you. I appreciate that you are but it's so hard for me to tell others. Especially after what just happened." my voice trailed off on the last few words I spoke. His eyes widened and looked at me.

"What do you mean? What happened?" he pressed.

"It's not that big.."

"Bullshit." he interrupted. I huffed and looked at him. His coffee was sitting on the ground and his body was tensing up. I was pissing him off and that was not my plan.

It was silent, I didn't answer him right away. His breathes were getting heavier by the minute and I was scared he was going to blow up on me. His hands gripped his knees and I watched as he knuckles turned white.

"I have nightmares." I said quietly, too quiet I was afraid he wasn't able to hear me and I would have to repeat myself.

"Yeah, and so do I. Everyone does Liv." he softly replied. No Harry, not like these.

"Not like mine." I said to him. His green eyes met mine and I took my bottom lip in between my teeth.

"What do you mean not like yours?"

Here it comes, I was going to have to tell him. Was I really ready too?

"I get the same reoccurring nightmares, almost every night." my voice came out more like a squeak and I quickly took a drink of the coffee to stop myself from straining my voice.

"What happens in them?" he asked me, his eyes softened and so did his body which made me feel much better.

"Well, um. It takes place in my room. All the time," I started, I looked over at Harry who's hands were buried in his pockets.

"I'm listening." he said when I stopped. I nodded and continued.

"I'm laying on my bed, not moving. I can't anything but my head. Then these, like black figures come into my room. They have no faces, nothing. Just a body. They get closer to me and I try screaming but nothing comes out. Soon, they'll start, uh," I hesitated to say the words.

"They what Olivia?" Harry's tone was harsh, eager to know more. I could feel myself holding back the tears that were forming in my eyes.

"They start touching me, not like that." I said holding my hands up. His body tensed once more then relaxed.

"One grabs my legs and holds them down, while another drags their finger or whatever it is up my calf, then they end up scratching and hitting me. I've never ever finished the nightmare. I want too though." I finished.

Harry was silent. This was a bad sign. He was going to judge me wasn't he?

"Harry, please say something."

"I don't know what to say, Olivia, these dreams-nightmares are making you hurt yourself. I know that for a fact. Look at your legs, your arms, your face, neck, you name it, and I can tell you it has a bruise on it from what has happened. You need to get help." He said quickly standing to his feet. He was now pacing back and fourth, making me anxious.