Stigma | h.s #Wattys2016

Chapter 3

I headed to the bathroom after 3rd period to check how I looked. My eyes had dark purple bags underneath, the veins on my eyelids were popping out, and my face was paler than usual. My hands were shaking as I brought them to my face. I was freezing to the touch.

I reached into my bag and pulled out my concealer, I applied some under my eyes and on my eyelids hoping that I could cover up some of the discoloration. The concealer sort of covered it up, not all the way but it was less noticeable now. I licked my cracked and dry lips and walked out of the bathroom.

On my way to my locker I tried to avoid eye contact with anyone, during my first two classes people gave me dirty looks. I tried my best to smile at them but it came out weak and fake I gave up. Voices began to fill the hallway and I felt a migraine coming on. I rested my forehead on the locker door and closed my eyes, trying to block out some of the sound.

"Olivia?" a voice asked me. It was Harry, wonderful. I was begging he wouldn't press me about what was going on.

"Yeah?" I asked him looking up blinking my eyes rapidly. He was dizzy, I was dizzy. Everything else around me looked black and dark.

"Are you okay?" he asked me, his eyebrows buried into his face and his eyes widened. Oh god, I felt sick. I rested my hand on the lower part of my locker trying to steady myself.

"I'm fine." Lies.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I'm good." More lies.

I closed my locker and smiled at him falsely. He told me about how one of the popular girls was exposed in the Cem. Lab, and how the teacher even laughed. I laughed along with him but I was hardly listening. My body was shaking and I felt to weak to even walk. Harry and I walked into History and took our seats in the middle of the room.

He hated sitting in the front and I hated sitting in the back so we decided the middle was the best place for us to sit. I pulled out my folder but everything slipped out of the bottom, papers spilled all over the floor, under the desks, over in the back and front. Of fucking course.

"Fuck." I whispered under my breath, I heard Harry laugh at my words and he bent down to help me pick up the papers.

"Here." he said handing me a stack of the fallen papers. I thanked him and tried my best to put them back in the broken folder. My hands continued to shake as I put them away and I knew Harry was watching me. I tried my best to smile at him ensuring everything was alright.

"Class will begin in a few minutes, I want everyone to write down what is in the board in your notebooks." the teacher called out. I picked up my pencil and began writing about past presidents and what they did in office.
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School went by the slowest it possibly could today. I almost fell asleep in the rest of my classes, I didn't eat lunch because I lost my appetite, the whole time Harry sat there trying to shove food down my throat.

When I got home I noticed both of my parents cars in the driveway. They were never home this early, they always worked until late at night. Josh's bike was pushed up against the garage. I looked at both vehicles and the bike and walked inside.

"Hello?" I asked locking the door behind me.

"In here." I heard my mom call from the kitchen. Her, my dad and Josh were sitting at the table. Josh's head was down and my parents looked upset and worried.

"What's going on?" I questioned them setting my bag down on the counter.

"Sit, please Liv." my father said.

I did as he said and looked back and fourth between my parents and Josh. The only thing that came to mind was the nightmares. Looking at the way Josh was laying down not looking at me, gave me the hint that he told them what happens.

"Olivia, Josh told us what happened in the nightmare." my mom said, her voice cracked at the word 'nightmare' and I knew she was about to cry. Why did he have to tell them? I know that he wants the best for me but I didn't want this. I wish he would've told me that he was going to tell them. I would've said it instead. I felt violated. This was so private, and having Josh let them know every single detail ticked me off.

"Of course he did." I mumbled.

"Excuse me?" Josh's head came straight up, his eyes were red, most likely from crying, his face was paler than mine and I knew he hasn't slept. Just like me.

"Of course you told them. Why wouldn't you?" I didn't care how rude I sounded at this point. I wanted to know why he had told them and I'm pretty sure this is the only way to get the real truth out of him. He wouldn't spill if I had a knife to his throat, but hurting him in words seemed to have worked.

"What does that mean?" he called me out.

"You told them about the nightmare Josh. All of them. You told them about the black figures and what happens when they get close to me, you told them I wake up with scratches and bruises all over me, you told them I cant go a week without having them, you told them everything down to the damn pulp. I trusted you," at this point, I was yelling and standing. Pointing back and forth between my parents and the guy who betrayed me.

"I trusted you to keep this a secret. They knew I had nightmares but they didn't know what the hell was actually going on. Why did you tell them? I know you want me to get help, and I do too but now is not the time. I don't know when that time will be, but it is not now." I said storming out of the house leaving him and the rest of them in shock.