How About Seven? ✔

2. Hypnotica

Ah. Weddings.

Where a man and a woman join together in holy matrimony, where a woman's life of servitude to her probably abusive husband begins. The perfect event for someone to get shot - which happened to my uncle by the way, but don't worry I didn't know him very well, he was on my mother's side - or perhaps poisoned with arsenic in the wedding cake. Now that was a nasty one, I remember the bride bawling her eyes out when they came back and told her her husband was dead...of course later we found out that she was the one who did it, but still. Weddings are the perfect grounds for assassination, simply because it's a happy day, a good day, a wonderful occasion. Hence when something bad happens no one wants to believe it at first, and their reaction times slow down by about one third of a second. Which in my world, was a lot.

The name's Hayley by the way. Hayley Blackcroft, eldest child and only daughter of my father. You'd think that this was something that would make him proud, but nope. In the Blackcroft empire it was the men that counted. In our field of business, men hold the upper hand in all categories - skill, speed, strength - or so they claimed. In my opinion women would do just as well, if we were given a chance. But women were sidelined in Blackcroft.

In fact, when I was born my father took it rather badly. Okay, extremely badly. You see, I was first child, and for a first child to be a girl - le gasp! The eldest usually inherited after the father, and one couldn't let the heir be a girl now could we? That would be sacrilege. Which was why my brother was born. I feel quite proud to be honest, to think that a person's existence came to be because of me.

I watched as my first cousin, Louisa walked down the aisle. She looked proud too, but I doubt if it was because she was about to marry the man she loved. Love rarely existed in Blackcroft, much less in marriages. The women marry because that was the only reason they were born, which was to propagate the empire. The men did all the choosing, and most of the time it was either for looks or for...talents in bed.

Louisa was picked probably due to her looks. She had the whole hour-glass thing going big time, and the wedding dress brought out her curves very well. Her hair was sleek, glossy and magazine-worthy. In the outside world, she could have become a model. In Blackcroft, she was a Barbie doll on display, destined to grovel at the feet of Ken.

Who in this case was Jeremy, Louisa's third cousin twice removed. Third cousin meant they had the same great-great-grandparent, but since Jeremy was twice removed, he was two generations older than her. Conclusion, Louisa's great-great-great-great-grandfather was Jeremy's great-great grandfather.

Don't worry, you'll get the hang of it after some time.

Jeremy was only two years older than her though, because our happy family is messed up that way. Blackcrofts always marry other Blackcrofts, to - and I quote - keep the bloodline pure. If you ask me I think someone's been reading too much Harry Potter. But what am I saying, you can't get too much of Harry Potter.

Anyway. This meant I'm blood-related to this nose-picking twenty-year-old guy on my right, as well as that helplessly-sobbing-tears-of-joy, wrinkled-faced woman sitting in the corner. Everyone around is my aunt or uncle or cousin something-removed, and every get-together I discover previously unknown long-lost relatives. I'm just glad that I was born in this generation, and not the early ones, because the early ones had to marry their immediate cousins to maintain the bloodline. The good news was during the fifth or sixth generation they came up with a rule, which was no marrying our first and second cousins of the same generation, or the generation above. Apparently this increases the risk of genetic disorders in your children by about 2 or 3 percent. But you can marry your first cousin if he's twice removed, because that would mean your great-great-grandparent was his grandparent, and our ancestors were of the opinion that this distance was acceptable.