Curious

The lie.

I find myself gazing upon piles of garbage, wondering about the time. A fire burns out of a trashcan under the bridge. I've become acquainted with a man by the name Kobe. He is homeless,and smells like onions.
I suppose there are worse things that a person could smell like.

He's actually quite an incredible man, it was simply unfortunate luck that dragged him down here. He didn't have a phone for me to use, or food for me to eat. He merely provided me with company as we waited for the safety of day to come.

He told me of his unfortunate life. He had a wife and three children. About five years ago he was drowned in debt for his families benefit. His wife left him even though he gave her everything he had. Despite this, he seems so happy. 

How does one become so selfless?

Is he really happy?

Was this the price?

I look at his body, huddled in a ball under a dirty blanket. He rests his head on the last of the material objects that he owned.

I find myself sighing and glancing around at the darker corners of the bridge. lighting strikes, brightening everything for a moment before resting again. I've made an attempt to listen to the rain to put me to sleep.

 It's not exactly working.

Instead my mind is ravaged by the masked stranger. It's odd isn't it? Usually I'm up for walking into the face of danger. However, I can't analyse the masked man that I had met with just a few hours ago. He worries me.

My mind reflects my last few days.

Why did I do that? I didn't have to push him. I could have just rejected him.

Then it itches at the back of my mind again. No, you couldn't have. Rather than admit your desires, you run from them like a coward.

I feel the frustration, just let it go, you don't have to justify people's actions. You don't have to solve the world's problems, just be happy.

Unfortunately, I don't believe in a sentimental value such as happiness. Why should I? This man is a perfect example, no matter how kind You are, you'll simply get screwed.

It's kill or be killed in a sense. 

Every man for himself.

There is no hope in a place like this.

We are constantly chained to our own debt. Living to work, fighting every day just to live to fight the next.

It's exhausting.

what do I have to say in this matter? True, I may not work, however, I have become a unbiased viewer. I no longer receive or loose from others.

In my last few years of high school, I participated in a legal case in which I sued my parents.

I won the trial, and received a large portion of their money, after dividing up the money into months, I'll be set until in 64, and by that time, I'll have a retirement fund that will kick in.

"Spoiled bitch" is something that I'd expect to be called. However, I don't brag, or feel that I'm above anyone.

I've simply lost the chains of debt. I no longer am asked to live to work, but simply to live modestly.

Enough reminiscing , I think as I feel myself drifting into darkness. My cheeks feel cold, along with every other part of my body, but it's been a long night, and I'm far too exhausted to keep my head up.

My mind swarms into a jumble of mixed thoughts, part of me is dreaming, while the other part is still conscience.

I feel like I'm running away still.
From the masked man,
From my parents,
From my childhood,
From Angel,
From Tyler.

Tyler...

Too bad Tyler isn't here to keep me company.