Messed Up Vita

Chapter Eighteen

I am unquestioned that night when I came into the house at nine o'clock. I said goodnight, and it was that easy for Dad. He believed I was responsible enough to be home at that time, but honestly, I just wanted to sleep-- I was done with that night.

    So for two days, I manage to avoid all human interaction except Dad and Linda. Mandy's track meet got called off for Wednesday, so I didn't get to go to that. I slept, went down and got coffee and studied for a test on Tuesday. I wanted to be by myself, with nobody to talk to me or bother me. I wanted to clear my mind-- that was my plan-- but it didn't quite work that way as I predicted. All I thought about was that fight, and why it was even happening. I rewinded the details and the sentences spoken on that night in my brain, but nothing clicked together.

   Except for the fact that Mason seemed to be a total jerk. How could he just stand there and mock my friend, while seeing me restrained like a dog? 

   So on Monday, I sit away from him in English. I sit in the front surrounded by seats already taken, so he can't try to talk. My hair hangs around my shoulders in waves from the never-ending braid that I kept in my hair that weekend. No glasses, comfortable boot cut jeans, and a loose tee with Imagine Dragons' album logo on the front. Nothing more relaxing on a suckish Monday. 

    We hand in our English reports, and get back some homework. I got a B+ on my story. Not bad, but I could do better. The good news is that Mrs. Kuehn is back and joyful as ever, and we end up with no homework. She told us about her road trip to her nephew's and how she ran over three deer on the way down, because they "loved her car".

   "See you tomorrow, class," she says, eyes crinkling in cute old lady wrinkles as she smiles at us. I smile back a little and pick up my backpack. I try to get out before Mason can catch up to me. I hurry down the hall towards my locker, and I get that far. 

   "Wait," a voice says behind me. I try to unlock my locker, but my hands fumble. I am turned around against my will by two large hands on my shoulders. Mason looks into my eyes steadily, but I look away.

   "Get off," I mutter, trying to shove him away. Instead, he moves me away from the busy hallway into one of the smaller, unpopular ones. Two people ignore us as they walk past.

   "Hey," Mason hushes. "Hey. Eliot."

   "What?" I snap, finally meeting his gaze. His hands stay on my shoulders. "I expect you're going to laugh about Friday, huh? Get me to like you then beat up my friend. Sit back and watch me being helpless against it."

   "I'm really, really sorry about that, El," he says. His eyes mean it, but I don't want to believe him. "I didn't know you knew him. And I didn't like that he held you like that. I'm sorry."

   I stop struggling. "Why were you fighting him, anyways?"

   "I try to forget my mistakes, El," he says quietly. "I don't want to loose you. Not after one night."

   I scrunch up my eyes and stare up at his brown ones. "Really?"

   He nods. "Really."

   I sigh and drop my gaze. "I don't know anymore, Mason. I don't."

   "You don't know what?" Mason asks, releasing my shoulders. Instead, he takes my hand in his. I shiver as his fingers tighten around mine. I am losing my stance, I think to myself. I'm losing my stance. I need to be strong. He needs to know what he did wrong.

   "I don't know what I'm feeling anymore," I say quietly. "All of this." I gesture around me.

   Mason smiles. "Wanna go somewhere else, then?"