Divergent No War

I don't own Divergent. All of this belongs to Veronica Roth.

Chapter 3

It is the day of simulations. I am really nervous. If I do badly, will Eric still beat me? I don't think so, but he is unpredictable. I have faced the simulations before, so I have a fairly good idea of what will happen. Previously, my fears have been being burned alive, spiders, the dark, swimming in deep murky water, that I can't see into and Eric. For each one, Eric trained me to either control it or get over it. He used to lock me in a closet for hours as he made scary noises on the other side. Another time, he took me to the marsh and pushed me in. I had to tread water for ten minutes. Spiders, he just told me to squish them all- it wasn't that bad. He would also strike matches and then put them out on my arms to get over a fear of fire. He never mentioned my fear of himself.

As I walk into the simulation room, I know that Eric will review my simulation and that I must not have any fears, or at least beat them all quickly. Both Four and Tris are hooked up to electrodes. They hook me up and inject the serum. I sink into dreamland.

I am in the Dauntless compound and looking at the scoreboard. My name is second. My heartbeat rises. I know what is coming. Suddenly, I am in Eric's apartment. Thunderous footfalls are stomping my way.

"You disappoint me. What the hell was that? You need to do better. I am trying to help you." Eric's voice is as loud as his footsteps. All of the things he says to me echo around the room. He appears before me. His first blow lands on my jaw. I am knocked to the side. He punches again and again. Blood pours from my nose, as he gives one mighty uppercut and I fall to the ground. His foot makes contact with my side again and again. My ribs are cracking, my entire body crumpling and everything goes black.

I gasp as I sit up in the simulation room and grab my ribs. My face is wet with tears. Tris and Four are sitting stunned next to the computer. I sit forward and sob into my hands.

"I took too long. He'll kill me. He's going to kill me." Whatever my time is, I know that it is too long-- no matter what.

Four speaks. "Is this how you got so many bruises and your ribs were broken?" His voice mimics calm. I nod, knowing that I am dead anyway. I might as well tell them.

Once I start telling them, I can't stop. I tell them about how Eric is my father, about how he trained me to be the ultimate soldier, how his disappointment comes with beatings. Tris's eyes are wet with tears. Four's are stone cold. They are surprised that Eric is my father, but not that he is violent. They both know that he is a brutal, cold blooded killer. I explain how he was drunk and angry when I jumped second and when my rank was second. I tell them how he beat me for an hour, first punching, then finally kicking and kicking until my first rib broke, then the others. I tell them that since my times aren't good enough, he might just give up and kill me on "accident".

"Do you know what your time was?" Four asks me.

"About twenty minutes?" That is a hopeful estimation.

"No, about two and a half. One fear is unheard of. Four is the closest so far..." Tris trails off, looking at Four. He nods and says, "I can tell Eric how good I think you're doing. Maybe he will ease up on you."

"Just don't tell him that I told you."

"We won't." I leave worried and feeling better at the same time.

That night, I wait in his apartment as usual. I wonder what would happen if I didn't wait for him. I laugh to myself. I would not do that. I am bound to him by fear. I willingly walk into his private torture chamber every day and wait for him to come in and punish me. That is the sadistic spell that he has cast over me.

Today I am extra nervous. Will he let me be, or beat me, despite my broken ribs. When he walks in, I tense, waiting for a blow, however it doesn't come.

"There's my little Mel. I am so proud of you. You did really well today." He is obviously drunk. "Oh no. Right, I heard about your little accident. You should be more careful." He embraces me and rubs my back. For some reason I am hugging him back. I should hate him and try to run far away from him, but I can't.

"I love you." I melt into him.
Why or how I can love someone so much, when they always hurt me? How can he go from beating me to proud papa? How can I go from fearing his fists and voice to loving daughter? I don't understand.