STORM.

☹five

it was finally the weekend.

i was so relieved.

no more school and no more classmates.

these two days were my favorite.

days where i could just stay at home and be myself.

i didn't have to fake a smile or force a joke.

i didn't have to pretend to be that funny guy everyone thought i was.

well, i thought i wouldn't have to, but then you decided to come over.

i was only wearing a pair of shorts so i just wanted to run up to my room and die.

i wasn't confident in myself or my body.

i was made fun of when i was in grade school for being too fat and being too skinny in middle school.

nothing i did was good enough for anybody.

especially myself.

but at least you made me feel a bit better.

you didn't say a word about my exposed stomach.

when i caught you from the corner of my eye staring at my chest, you actually complimented me instead.

you knew i was a lot calmer and more serious when i wasn't in school.

you didn't have a problem with it.

you just thought i had a lot of friends there- which was why i acted different in front of them.

i didn't consider them friends.

i thought of them as people i had to impress in order to live through high school.

funny how someone who tells others not to worry about image is obsessed with their own.

whenever my actual best friends were upset i was always the one to comfort them.

maybe it was just because i was so used to being sad at this point i already knew what lies i had to tell myself to get through the day.