No Hard Feelings

sixteen

a / n :

hi guys! i we're down to the last 2 chapters of this story (which i've yet to finish writing so i might not be able to update next weekend) and i'm glad to see you stick with hadley and dexter up until now.

reading through the comments in the past few chapters had actually been somewhat discouraging bc i can see quite clearly that i've failed in doing what i meant to do when i started writing this story. i wrote this in shifting third person point of view because i wanted to show how BOTH parties in a relationship can make or break it. surprisingly, however, i've noticed how most of you seem to blame hadley for everything, which i have to say i'm really confused about.

"hadley shouldn't keep stringing him along" "HADLEY JUST TELL HIM!!!!" "hadley you stupid hoe u don't deserve dexter" GUYS. i thought i made it pretty clear that 1) hadley already believes she doesn't deserve dexter, which is why 2) she decided long ago not to tell him. she was never stringing him along. if anything, 3) she's made it clear they most likely won't ever get back together because she genuinely believes that dexter's better off without her.

maybe you guys have never dealt with insecurities the way hadley has. she questions the love she gets because she never thinks she's good enough to get it. she's always scared that the people around her will realize how "unworthy" she is because she can't even see her own worth. and THERE DOESN'T HAVE TO BE A DEEP REASON FOR THIS. it just happens. some people are just not as confident as others, and hadley, obviously, is so bogged down by her insecurities that she's willing to give up on her feelings.

dexter isn't perfect, people. you guys think he is bc hadley thinks he's perfect, and dexter's not self-aware enough to realize his imperfections so you never get to read about them in his POV. if you just pause and think about his choices and the way his mind works, you'll see past the glorified version hadley has of him. 

sorry this is very long. just haven't been able to find enough motivation to continue writing this precisely because i feel like it's already failed.

sorry again (really, i don't mean to sound so riled up) and thank you, always!

S I X T E E N

HADLEY FEELS THE car slow to a stop, but she keeps her eyes closed, her temple pressed against the cool glass of the window.

She doesn't stir until she feels Josh's hand on her shoulder, gently shaking her awake.

"Had," he says, his voice a soft murmur.

Hadley's eyes feel too heavy. Her everything feels too heavy. Her limbs, her heart, her mind. She feels herself sagging against the weight but struggles to keep herself upright anyway. Josh calls her again and she finally lets her eyes flutter open.

She straightens in her seat, looking out the window to see her house. Her car is nowhere in sight, so Taylor must be out. Thankfully, she thinks, because she really isn't in the mood to deal with him tonight. Or any other time in the near future.

Taylor is relentless.

He knows, vaguely, that something's wrong between Hadley and Dexter. He doesn't know, however, that there is no Hadley and Dexter. Not anymore. Not since the day he walked away without so much as a backward glance five days ago.