No Hard Feelings

nineteen

a / n : 

I M P O R T A N T

so this is it. the last chapter. before reading this, please note that: 

a) this is not the end hadley and dexter's story 

b) the previous chapter ended with hadley going to see dexter, but please do notice and realize that dexter also tried to come see hadley -- this was a conscious decision that i made in order to demonstrate that when something goes wrong between two people, it isn't enough that only one party intends to fix it. even if, for example, hadley came earlier, it doesn't mean things could have been fixed. if dexter hadn't wanted to patch things up between them, then they wouldn't be. 

c) please understand that both characters are different, and both of them contributed to their ruined relationship. it is their character differences that somehow always led to them never truly seeing each other eye to eye, and i hope you stop blaming one more than the other. 

d) CALM YO TATAS THERE WILL BE AN EPILOGUE AFTER THIS. 

enjoyyyy!

love,

sam

* * * 

N I N E T E E N

THE FIRST THING Hadley notices is his hair.

She shouldn't have been surprised. Dexter has been going on about getting his hair cut before leaving for college for weeks now, and now here he is with his hair clean-cut and his freckles prominent, like they always are by the end of summer, little dots peppered across his face like coordinates on a map she knows by heart.

Except she no longer holds the map in her hands.

Looking at him now feels a little like looking at a stranger—a college boy with pretty eyes and a smile that looks a lot like the morning sun.

She has woken up to this sight many times now in the two years of their friendship, and the last time she did was a morning that changed everything. Now here they are. Nothing but strangers in the making.

It's Hadley who speaks first.

"Hi." Her voice is unsteady, nearly inaudible, but Dexter hears her.

"Hi."

The expression on his face is hard to read. Hadley doesn't quite know what to say next, or where to go from here. The last time they talked to each other, Dexter had told her he was done with her, that he no longer wanted her to be a part of his life, and she should have left it at that. She should have let him walk away, should have accepted the fact that she never really deserved to be anywhere near him anyway.

"Adrian let me in," she explains, her eyes flitting around Dexter's room. "I, um, I wanted to talk to you." She bites down on her lower lip, almost like she regrets speaking.

Dexter says nothing at first. He stands by the door, looking at her with an inscrutable expression on his face. And then he moves, shutting the door gently behind him. He stays there, leaning back against the door, and when Hadley looks, she realizes he looks unsure himself.

"I dropped by your place," he says. "Just now." His eyes fixed on the floor, but then he lifts them up, locking onto her gaze. "I wanted to talk to you, too."