Bring Forth a Fire (Book 1)

Eighteen - To Protect and Honour

January 1889

I put off reading my father's last journal entry until the last possible second. The revelation of his suicide had indeed been shocking, but the reason for it, I had a feeling, would be even more. Eventually, however, about five days after the new year, I plucked up the courage to once again go back to my father's journal. I had to face it sometime, and besides, I'd already given Grandmother most of it to peruse as well. He was her son, after all.

"Emma, darling, is everything all right?" Grandmother asked, watching me as I snapped my fingers, conjuring a small flame before closing my fist on it over and over.

"This, Grandmother." I indicated the worn black portfolio. "It both intrigues me and gives me pause. I'm afraid of what I'll find."

"Whatever it is, Emma, I know you can bear it. You are strong enough."

I let a smile flicker across my lips. "Do you believe that?"

"Yes I do. And I believe that as long as you surround yourself with the people who want to help you instead of cause you harm, you will never be alone, and a better person for it." She laid her hand over mine, her grip strong.

I nodded, because her words gave me the confidence I needed to go forward. Whatever was contained within, I would bear it, as she said.

26 April 1887 —This may be the last entry that I write. I have lost all of my happiness in one year. I miss Juliana as the months go by, and every day is another day that separates me from her. The news of her death was one of the most devastating blows I have suffered thus far. I did not tell Emma, and I do not know when I ever will. I see Juliana in her every day as she grows, and I have no doubt she will be a beautiful young woman as her mother was.

But to speak of her now does not hurt me any less. I feel Emma is pulling away from me, and I haven't the slightest idea why. I want her to be safe. That is why I keep things from her. But she is far too curious for her own good, and I fear she will find out anyway. I am caught between telling her why we are in hiding and never doing so. I know if I did, she would be wanting to go after Huntley herself. And that I could not bear.

Then there is Huntley. He knows about the birth of my daughter, and he wants her Essence as much as he wants mine. I would give my life before my daughter's, and I know that is what he wants. He is after Emma not only for her Essence, but to keep her. Take her as a wife, if he could. But seeing her bound to that horrid man in any way makes my stomach turn. But every day I hear of his exploits, and his attempts to uptake Essence into his own body. According to the Wellingtons, who are also in hiding as I write this, he is not finding much success.

My mother has persuaded me to write up a will, and has urged me to make her its executor. Her reasoning was that if something should happen to me, she is Emma's last legal guardian, and she would do everything in her power to make sure Emma is properly cared for. I do believe I have underestimated her selflessness, and yet I cannot see my daughter living happily under her roof. My childhood is enough to warrant that.

I will end the journal here. If whoever finds it believes they can help us, then Godspeed. For now, I will be making any attempt to keep us as invisible as possible. It may yet save our lives.

The entry ended there, and even when I turned it over I was a bit dismayed that there was nothing else. My father had wanted to save our lives, but in the end, it seemed his plan had failed. It had gotten him killed, and had catapulted me into the unknown. And yet one thing was completely certain. If he couldn't get rid of Huntley in his lifetime, I knew one thing was certain. It was going to have to be me that finished the job.