Wallflower

Chapter two

Dear friend

I am sad again. All that's going through my head is that I'm not loved, no one likes me, I'm ugly,I'm fat and miserable.....

My mother is a useless mother she never loved me. When I was around the age of 9 she stopped letting me play with the other kids outside my house however she let my twin Laura out to play with the neighbor's kids. I was told I was too old and that they didn't like playing with me.

I can vividly remember every time my sister Laura went out to play and I wasn't allowed; I used to sit upstairs on my bed and watch them play hide and seek, tag, football, pop 1 2 3 etc I would close my eyes and imagine myself playing with them I would have the biggest smile on my face.

Until my mother abby saw me and grabbed the back of my hair and dragged me into the naughty room. She used to put me in there and leave purple, violet, red things under my skin. She always told me that I deserve it and that it will make me a better person.

~

Today has been hard I have been laying in bed all day doing nothing but thinking of bad things like how I'm useless and that no one will notice me if I suddenly stopped talking or showing up to class. I have started to realise why Bellamy didn't wanted to tell anyone or talk about it. Its personal. In it's own way. Sometimes I think of his lifeless body laying there wherever he was found probably in his bedroom and the shock of thus beloved one seeing him in the state he was in not knowing what he was think and if they helped quicker he might be here alive today.

All I can say is I miss him I feel alone in school, the feeling always lingers deep in me. I'm once left alone with my thoughts again, last time this happened I ended up back in on my medication.

A/N

Should I date these?