R I G H T S T U F F

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BEFORE LEAVING FOR MARS, EACH MEMBER OF THE ARES 3 CREW SPENT TEN DAYS IN ISOLATION AS A TRAINING EXERCISE. UPON RELEASE, THEY WERE INTERVIEWED BY A NASA PSYCHOLOGIST.

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The first to be interviewed was Mark Watney.

He sat quietly in his chair, scanning the face of the man in front of him. He was of the first of the Ares III crew to be interviewed today, yet the interview still had not begun. The psychologist's attention remained solely on his papers, but every once in a while he would glance up at Mark, eliciting an expression of curiosity to fall upon the astronaut's face.

The room remained silent for several moments before the man—the NASA psychologist—finally spoke to Mark.

"I was hoping we could start with some insights into what you were thinking during your isolation," the man said.

Mark perked up immediately. "Sure, yeah. I can do better than that—I can tell you exactly what I was thinking. I feel like I got to some of the more important questions. Not the answers," he chuckled, "but definitely things that just kept me up at night."

"Go on," the man encouraged him.

"Uh," Mark started, leaning forward in his chair. "How come Aquaman can control whales? I mean, whales are mammals. It doesn't even make sense."

The man stared at Mark, unsure if the astronaut was being serious or not. Those who knew him, though, could confirm that Mark was in fact being deathly serious.

"I understand if you're gonna say 'Alright, well kids might not know whales are mammals, and if Aquaman needs a big fish the kids are gonna say, well, why didn't he call a whale?', and you're not gonna stop the show to explain to the kids that whales are mammals because a kid doesn't know that a whale is a fucking mammal," Watney continued. "So, y'know. But thanks for the ten days in there. It was pretty illuminating."

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The next to be interviewed was Pilot Rick Martinez.

"Let's talk about the exercise," the psychologist began. "So, ten days. . ."

"Ten nights," Martinez followed shortly.

"That's a long time for a man to be alone with himself."

"And what do you do when you're by yourself?" Martinez said. "Studying, of course, for my mission. Finding new ways, new techniques, to relieve the tension. I felt like I was fifteen again—left handed."

This was only his second interview, yet the psychologist appeared to already be over them. The expression on his face was more than enough confirmation for such an assumption.

"Y'know, sometimes I have movies inside my head. Lemme see what's on." Martinez paused momentarily before continuing with, "Good Fellas, alright. 'Hey, what's in the trunk? What's in the trunk?' Joe Pesci's amazing."

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The third interviewee was Maia Watney, younger sister to Mark Watney.

"So," the psychologist began, studying the dirty blonde sitting across from him. "You and Mark are going to be the first siblings together in space, not to mention, the first siblings to step foot on Mars together. How does that make you feel?"

Maia tilted her head at the man and narrowed her green eyes. "Y'know, it's come to my attention that there's no such thing as a chicken nugget up in the depths of space—at least not what I perceive to be a chicken nugget—and that thoroughly disenchants me."

Interstellar → Chris BeckWhere stories live. Discover now