Old jeans

Lilian

Dear Lilian

As I wait for you to return to me

Who knew that one lonely night would be all that we had?

Our last night, the last time I mumble your name in endless sleep

Feeling you blush in my arms like the first time I laid my unforgettable eyes upon your deep broken blue ones

Who knew I'd be finishing your letters to me which I read every night hoping that you'll wake up

It's been a week, the doctors say that you'll never wake up, because you're still replying on the breathing machine. 

But every twitch every tear every scream of my dying heart is fighting for you just to realize that I'm sorry

I never knew how you felt locked up in that prison, 

I never knew I was rock in the endless sea of insanity

I never knew you stopped loving me

I never knew you were never depressed, you just felt me slipping away from you're hands as they grew cold

But you never knew that she was a mistake, a drunken mistake that I was going to take off her hands so I could have a life with my wife 

You never knew that everyday that I was with her I was reading your journals that I found in that busted floorboard in the attic

I smelled your clothes until I was crying in happiness from the memories we have made,

I cooked you're favorite foods late at night and save them until you came home eating them at work

But I did falter, I was lonely but not as lonely as you.

I am sorry

I don't think I can say enough, to fix what I've done do you

I made you wish this upon yourself.

If only you knew how much I love you

owen