Dear Diary, [S.M]

March 15, 2017

"Are you ready to say goodbye?" Vince asks me.

"It's not goodbye. I'll see him in 6 months." I say, nodding to myself.

"You still have to say bye to him." Olivia says.

"I know. And I will when the time comes." I tell them.

Later that morning, I get into a car with Shawn. He starts to drive and that's when it hits me. He's going to be gone. I won't be able to touch him or hear his voice in person for half of a year.

Tears start to develop and I'll down my cheeks.

"Are you crying?" He asks me.

"No?" I say wiping the tears away.

"Please don't cry. I'm not leaving forever. I'm going on tour. I'm living my dream and I'll be back before you know I'm even gone." He says trying to make me feel better.

"But I'll know your gone. You'll be gone for half a year." I cry.

"Victoria..." He sighs, watching the road as he drives.

The rest of the drive was filled with irrelevant conversation. I didn't want to talk about him leaving and he wanted to have our last conversation together be one with laughter and smiles.

We get to the airport and wait for them to call his flight. I hold his hand tightly the whole time. I can't help but start to tear up again. He told me not to cry but I can't help it. It's sad to know he won't be here for a long time and there's nothing we can do about it.

Shawn's flight was called and I look at him with tears in my eyes.

"Shawn please call me sometimes." I tell him.

"I'll call you as much as I can." He tells me, kissing me quickly.

He begins to walk away and tears stream down my cheeks. It'll be 6 months before I see him again.

"Shawn wait!" I call to him. He turns around and looks at me.

"Victoria. I have to go." He sighs.

"I love you." I say quietly. His eyes widen slightly and he smiles. He jogs over to where I'm standing and grabs my face. He kisses me and then pulls away.

"I love you too. I'll call you when we land." He smiles and kisses my forehead before walking through the gates, into the airplane.