Fade Away ↠ Paul Lahote

Five.

This is where all the medical procedures and hospital visits start. Like I mentioned in the note at the beginning, I am no expert. Everything I know about cancer has come from reading cancer.org (or something of that variation). I apologize if any of this information is inaccurate. If there is any information in here that is wrong and you know what the right set of info is, please feel free to correct me.

"After going over your blood tests and the bone marrow aspiration and biopsy you had," Dr. Godfrey says, shuffling through some of his papers in a folder he has on the desk in the hospital room, "Nelly, I'm afraid that it looks like you have what's called acute myeloid leukemia. Your bone marrow has a high amount of myeloblasts. Bone marrow is supposed to have a 5% or less count of blasts and you have well over 20%. Your white blood cell count is very high and your body isn't making enough red blood cells." He stops and looks up at Nelly and her dad, who both have looks of despair on their faces. "I'm so sorry."

Nelly opens her mouth to ask if that means she's going to die, but what comes out instead is a sob. And after that first sob, the tears start flowing and Nelly is shaking. She actually has cancer. Nelly feels like her whole world has just fallen apart. She can feel her dad gripping her hand and can hear him talking to the doctor, but none of what he's saying registers in her mind. That word, that awful word, just keeps repeating itself in her head. Cancer. Cancer. Acute myeloid leukemia. Cancer.

"Is she going to die?" Nelly hears Billy ask.

"It's hard to say," Dr. Godfrey replies. "This type of cancer is usually found in people over forty or in early childhood. In most cases with twins, when they're young and one twin gets leukemia, the other will likely get it as well. But as Nelly is sixteen and her brother is not experiencing the same thing, then he is not of concern."

"So the only way to find out if she's going to survive this is treatment, right?" Billy says. "What kind of treatment will she be undergoing?" His grip on her hand tightens. Nelly barely feels it. She's still crying, but she feels more numb than anything else.

"For AML, there two phases of chemotherapy. The first phase, which is called Induction, is meant to clear the blood of the leukemia cells and to reduce the number of blasts in the bone marrow to a more normal count. The second phase, called Consolidation, is given after the patient has recovered from the first phase. This phase is meant to kill the left over leukemia cells that are too small to be seen. Chemo is given in cycles where after each period of treatment, the patient is given time to rest and recover. I'll go give you some pamphlets about AML and then I'll call you sometime next week to start making plans for treatment." Dr. Godfrey leaves the room.

"Nelly?" Billy hedges. Nelly doesn't respond. She doesn't know what to say. The only correct response Nelly knows is crying and she already did that. "Sweetheart?" Nelly looks over at her dad and he gives her a sad smile. "We're going to get through this, okay?" She nods. Dr. Godfrey comes back and hands her dad a small folder of information on AML. He sees them out and tells them once more how sorry he is before going back to work.

On the ride home, Nelly sits in the passenger seat staring blankly out the window. Billy tries making conversation a couple times, but he eventually stops when he realizes that Nelly isn't going to talk. As they leave Forks and head back to the reservation, Nelly imagines what chemotherapy is going to be like. People always seem to lose their hair and there was that one movie about the girl who had cancer. My Sister's Keeper, Nelly thinks. She remembers what happened to Kate and lets out a shaky breath. Is that going to happen to her? Is Nelly going to get so bad that she's bed-ridden and looks like a corpse? Tears gently roll down her face. She presses her lips tightly together and shuts her eyes, quietly beginning to cry. Her dad gently touches her hand and Nelly immediately grabs it, wanting the little comfort it brings.