“So, I see you’re still messin’ around with J…” One of my manes, Jeyson walked in my room. “I don’t even know, man.” I sighed and he shrugged. “What’s going on?” I drew in a breath and laid back on my bed. “I don’t know… I guess… Things aren’t the same anymore. You feel me?” He nodded. “Yeah… But what’s with that stuff on Instagram? What is she talking about?” I closed my eyes… I really do not want to talk about this. “…She’s messing with her ex.” Jeyson gave me a look. “Then what the hell are you still doing messing with her?” He threw his hands up. “…It isn’t like that. She isn’t messing with him. She’s trying to make his and his girlfriend’s life hell.” Jeyson blinked at me. “Now what sense does that make?” I shook my head. “It doesn’t,” Jeyson sighed and walked over to me. He sat down beside me. “What’s going on, honestly?” I ran a hand through my hair. “Like… She’s messing around. Remember that two week break we took?” Jeyson nodded. “Yeah… Well it technically wasn’t a break. She told me that the things between her and Diggy weren’t real and that she loved no one but me. She told me she was only trying to ruin him… And at the time, I was under her little spell and didn’t think any of it.” I rubbed my eyes. “But then I started getting lonely, you know? I started to miss her… A-And then I started to hear things… Like she and Diggy were going out; she was kissing him… Pretending to love him. While she was leaving me alone…” I sucked on my bottom lip. “B-But then I met Courtney. Awe Courtney… She’s such a sweetheart. Poor baby, was in so much pain from Diggy, or should I just say Joslyn. She hid her pain so good… A-And I felt so bad. Because I was really starting to feel her, ya know? Like she’s so pretty… And so sweet and fun. And the worst part is… She trusted me. She told me what happened and how she was hurting… A-And I felt so bad because I was part of the reason why she was hurting.” Jeyson glanced at me. “I just don’t know what to do…” “What’s more important to you? Courtney or Joslyn?” I shook my head. “…I don’t know. Like, while Joslyn was messing with Diggy, I started to develop feelings for Courtney. I-I even started to forget about Joslyn… And then Joslyn told me Diggy ended it with her and that she was gonna start messing with Courtney. I-I didn’t know what to do… She told me that she was gonna patch things up between us. A-And I mean that’s good but…” “What about Courtney?” “Yeah… Then I saw her at the eye doctor and she found out the truth… I swear, seeing someone cry never hurt me so much. I felt like I killed her emotionally… I-I felt so bad. I just wanna make things right.” Jeyson adjusted his glasses. “…But what about Joslyn?” I drew in a breath. “I don’t know… She’s not who she was a few months ago…” I held my head in my hands. “…Maybe I should just end this. I-I need to end this and apologize to Courtney… This is getting too out of hand.” “Are you sure you want to do this?” I nodded. “Yeah… I’m done with her. I’m done with this… I-I’m just done.” Jeyson looked at me as I clamped my hands together. “…I’m done.” I climbed out of bed and grabbed my hat. I walked out of my room and into the living room. I grabbed my keys from the table and headed out of the door… Walking into the cold world ahead of me.
“My head hits he pillow, weeping willow, I can’t sleep.
A pain so deep it bellows. But these cellos help just to keep me mellow.
Hands on my head, touch knees to elbow. I’m hunched over, emotion just flows over.
These cold shoulders are both frozen. You don’t know me, I keep saying that.
I can’t stress it enough. So keep playin’ it and stand next to these subs…”
I listened to Eminem’s No Apologies as I walked down the street. I was so fed up and angry, I didn’t know what to do with myself. I’m just done… Like really. I stopped at the corner when my phone started to go off. I sighed and grabbed it out of my pocket. I looked at the phone and rolled my eyes. The screen read “Baby Jay.” I sighed and answered her call. “…Hello?” I ran a hand through my hair. “Hey baby! How are you?” Stop… “I’m alright,” She giggled. “That’s good! I miss you, baby! When we gon’ hang out? I need my Grammy-Bear!” I hate this… “I-I don’t know…” She paused. “Are you alright, baby? You sound down…” I cleared my throat. “W-We need to talk.” She gave a small gasp. “…What’s the matter, Graham?” Here it goes… “I-I can’t do this anymore…” “Do what?” I walked to an empty bench by a park. “Us… I-I can’t do us anymore.” She coughed a bit. “W-What do you mean? A-Are you ending us?” I closed my eyes. “…I think it’ll be better this way.” “Don’t bullshit me, Saul. Tell me why you’re really doing this.” Strike one… She pulled out my first name. “Joslyn, I-“ “You’re always pulling some shit like this, Graham. All the damn time…” Two… I’m trying my hardest not to snap on her. “Joslyn… Just let me speak.” “I don’t care to hear your lame excuses, Graham! I’ve been nothing but a good girlfriend to y-“ Strike three… “Don’t even flatter yourself, Joslyn. You and I both know what you’ve been doing for the past month. You know you were cheating with Diggy… You know damn well you were. I was just sick of going through the motions with you. One minute we’re happy and together, and the other you want to take a break to mess around with Diggy. So whatever, Joslyn. What-The-Hell-Ever. I don’t care anymore… You can do whatever you want… It just won’t be involving me.” “Don’t you talk to me like that! Do you know who you’re talking to?” I nodded out of anger. “I know exactly who I’m talking to!” I could feel my pulse rising. “Graham, you and I both know that if you don’t calm down, things are gonna get ugly.” I gave an angry chuckle. “…Things got ugly when I asked you to be my girlfriend.” She gasped. “How dare you…?” I blew out a breath. “Goodbye Joslyn,” “Graham! Don’t you dare hang up this phone!” I took the phone from my ear. “Too late,” “Graham!” I hung up the phone and placed it on my lap… “Well that was one hell of a conversation…” I sighed and stood up. “On to my next task of the day…
“Are you sure this is her house?” Jeyson looked at me as I tapped my fingers along the steering wheel. “Guess we’ll find out, eh?” I chuckled. I can’t believe I’m actually going to do this. “What the hell, man? Are you sure you know what you’re doing?” I nodded. “Yeah… I gotta make things right. I need to apologize to Courtney.” Jeyson rolled his eyes. “Man, I don’t even think it’s that serious…” I glared at him. “Jey, Joslyn split up her relationship with a guy that she cares very much about. And I… Was just making it work by trying to get close to her and make her forget about him… And by trying to hurt her.” Jey shook his head. “You weren’t trying her hurt her, G.” I blew out a breath. “But I ended up hurting her anyway…” I unbuckled my seatbelt. “And now here’s my chance to fix it.” I got out of the car and started making my way to her front door.
I was standing at her front door ready to knock but scared to. I closed my eyes and blew out a breath. C’mon Graham… Just do it already. I took a deep breath and knocked lightly on her door. I took a step back and waited for someone to answer the door. I saw the knob twist and the door open. A guy stood behind the door with a blank expression on his face. “Yes?” He blinked at me and suddenly I felt as if I was at the wrong house. “Yo, I’m sorry, man. I think I have to wrong house. I’m looking for a girl named Courtney. Does she live here?” The guy drew in a breath. “Who wants to know?” His tone was kind of rude. “Look man, I don’t want no trouble. I just want to talk to her.” He folded his arms across his chest. “About what?” I gave an agitated chuckle. “…I don’t think that’s any of your concern.” He raised his eyebrows at me. “Well, as me being her boyfriend… Everything about her is my concern.” He was about two seconds away from getting these hands. “Dude, I’m not interested in your girl or anyt-“ I paused. Wait a second… That’s Diggy. “Wait, you’re Diggy?” He gave me a look like I should’ve known that. “Yeah… And you are…?” I sighed. “Graham,” Diggy’s expression totally changed. “Oh hell no! Sorry Graham, you won’t be speaking with Courtney today. Have a nice day and get the hell away from her-“ “Babe, who’s at the door?” I heard Courtney’s voice from a far. “No one babe,” Diggy scolded me. “They were just leaving,” I shook my head as I saw Courtney appear by Diggy’s side. “Courtney…” Her face went from happy to pissed quicker than I’ve ever seen possible. “I thought I told you to leave me alone…” Her voice was stern. “I know Courtney, but I need to talk to you.” “But she doesn’t want to talk to you, so you can just…” Diggy pressed his hand against the door. “No one was talking to you,” He don’t know me… He doesn’t know about my anger issues. He is really testing me. “I don’t care if she wasn’t talking to me! I know what she wants… And it’s not to be talking to you.” “Well maybe she doesn’t want you to be speaking for her. She has a mouth of her own! She can talk!” I could feel my cheeks starting to burn. “Look-“ Courtney put her hand in his face. “Both of you stop. Babe, I’ll be right back. Let me just see what he wants.” Diggy didn’t move. He kept his eyes on me. “Diggy…” She pulled at his arm and he turned to look at her. “Alright,” He turned around and walked back into the house. Courtney sighed and walked outside onto the porch. “That’s one boyfriend you’ve got there…” I shook my head and Courtney clenched her jaw. I gave a small, nervous chuckle. “What do you want, Graham?”
