goner. ;; a joshler fanfic

twenty eight

this is dedicated to lovebeachemily cause they gave some inspiration for this chapter and also i love reading their comments!! i love you i hope you enjoy the rest of the story

its been about 2 weeks since brendon and josh broke up and the first few days we didnt really talk until i got a text from an unknown number

'hey tyler'

'new phone who dis'

'im a friend of joshes you guys need to make up. your not 2 anymore'

'but really who are you'

'ugh my names jenna but you need to just fucking forgive josh for whatever happened okay??'

'alright ill text him now to humour you but dont get your hopes up'

i continued to text jenna but after i agreed to talk to josh she didnt reply.

and so it began. josh and i started to hang out more and more and after a week had passed he sat me down with a serious expression on his face

"listen tyler i gotta talk to you"

i sat on his bed next to him and nodded signaling him to keep talking

"im so sorry for being the way i was to ryan. i just felt like he liked you and you mightve liked him back. i knew you wouldnt cheat on me but i felt threatened that he might take you away from me. i know its a shitty excuse and its not good enough for how i was to him but i wish i could say sorry to him. so im saying sorry to you. im sorry for hurting your friend that was really fucking dumb of me and im sorry for putting you in such an awful position."

"josh." i took a second to process it all. "i mean i cant fully accept your apology its not going to bring back my friend but just dont do anything like that ever again."

we had officially made up and he was as charming as i remembered. i was beginning to fall for him all over again with those warm eyes and fluffy hair and cute smile, how could i not?

a few days ago he asked me if i still liked him. i told him i did and he said that he still loved me and missed calling me his boyfriend.

two days ago i got to briefly meet jenna as josh invited her over for us to meet but then i had to go home as blurryface was being a little much for me.

hes been more harsh than usual. i can feel his genuine hatred for me and i can sense my life coming to an end. or maybe thats just what he wants me to think? maybe he just tricked me into thinking it so i would finally kill myself?

yesterday josh and i made plans to meet up at a near by park today and i could see his messy pink hair sitting beneath a tree as i walked towards him.

"h-hey joshua"

"hey ty" he stood up and slid his phone into his pocket "how are you"

"im okay" but im really not. "what about you?"

"im pretty good actually, ive been thinking lately and i know it wont be the same as it was before but maybe it can work out if you give me a chance"

oh god hes gonna ask me out. what do i say? can i say no? is that an option? but i kinna want to say yes and let the past be the past. can i trust him? oh god i just missed what he said hes looking at me for an answer

"wait what?"

"i said would you want to try dating again and see how it goes" he looked down at his feet with a smile pink beginning to brush across his cheeks

ah what the hell,

"ye-yea id like that" i smiled at him and he pulled me into a hug. i missed his hugs, it felt like i was safe from any harm anyone could do. i was safe

-

josh and i went for a walk and ended up at franks house, gerard was over but he welcomed us in anyway.

"hey frank?" i followed him into the kitchen and josh and gerard were in the living room talking

"yea ty?"

"josh and i got back together"

"thats great but, just be careful okay? i dont want you getting hurt"

"no he was just jealous of ryan and-"

"that doesnt matter tyler just be careful"

"alright" i sighed "so how are things with gerard?"

"theyre great! were thinking of starting a band with mikey and two of mikeys friends"

"sounds cool, whats the name of the band"

"havent decided yet, come on lets go back to the living room"

he led me into the living room and we all started talking about random crap. i didnt really talk or say anything. all i could hear was the eerie voice of blurryface pounding through my head

just fucking kill yourself already

he spoke with a scratchy voice as he finally stopped yelling at me

"JUST FUCKING LEAVE ME ALONE" i shouted back at him

gerard frank and josh all looked over to me

"oh, i-i its just" fuck.

"its fine tyler dont worry" frank looked at me concerned

"wait whats wrong i dont understand" gerard spoke up looking between frank and i

frank looked at me as if to ask my permission to tell him i just nodded and told him to tell him.

"tyler has schizophrenia and is just going through a rough time"

"oh" he looked over at me with pity in his eyes. "its fine tyler, my cousin has it to. im here for you if you ever want to talk"

"th-thanks"

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