Forgetting regret (pierce the veil )

chapter 9: the letter

SO CLOSE TO 1K. OMG ILY GUYS. OK ONWARDS.
Recap from chapter:
"Mom, what will i do when your gone? You are the best." I say slowly.
She sighs.
"well, honey. Death is innevitable,
Im sure you will find a way to function. Just try to be ready."
I nod slowly.
"But i dont think ill be ready" i say sadly.
"Hey, i have a gift that is supposed to be sent out when i die, that might help. But enough of this depressingness. I made carrot cake!" she says excited.----------------------------------

Scars pov*

Right After vic left, mike came Into the lounge with a movie and some chip bags.
"Hey, you want to watch harry potter?yea nevermind thats not a question" I smile lightly, wiping my tears away. Harry pitter always helped.
He puts on the movie with turns out to be the goblet of fire and sits next to me on the couch.
"Hey, finish your sandwich. You barely took a bite out of it!"
I nod slowly and untastefully grab the plate. Setting it on my lap I try to take a bite out of it but let it drop onto the plate again and sigh.
It wouldnt taste like much anyways.
I hear mike sigh next to me as I turn around and see him lookong at me. He gets up from his seat and I hear things moving around in the kitchen. He comes back with a plate and sets it on my lap. "Its my favorite, if you cant taste this, you are crazy." I look at the plate. Another sandwich. Confused I pick it up to bite it since he is looking at me eagerly.
At first there was nothing. But I immediately felt the crunch and spice. I chew and try to swallow it and once I do I look inside.
My mouth is on fire. And that is because this sandwich has jalapeños hot chips and spicy vinegar along with the ham and lettuce. I look at him desperately trying to find water. I hear him chuckling while he hands me a soda. I drink big gulps and that only causes the spice to be worse. After what feels like forever, mike hands me a water. And I gulp it all down. After my mouth is calmer I look at mike questioningly.
"I know you think the world is greyer, that food doesnt have a taste. That your life isnt in color, but this proves to you its all in your mind. With a little push you tasted what food tastes like. Dont forget. Its in your mind. The world is filled with all types of colors. You just have to enjoy them more."
I smile slowly, I actually liked it. It was a good sandwich. For a one time thing though.
We settle back to watch the movie as I attempt jaimes sandwich again.
The door opens and vic walks in looking calmer than when he left. He hands me my black makeup bag, I thank him and excuse my self to my bunk before vic stops me,
"There. Uhm there was a letter on the bed. I put it in your bag." Vic says carefully.
Confused, I nod and go into my bunk and open my bag. It had a beige letter sittin in the top of it.
Carefully I take it out, looking at the handwriting.
From mom- was the only thing that got my attention before I opened it as fast as I could.

Dear Scarlett,
Hey munchkin, If you are reading this. Im dead. Its on my will actually, to give this to you.
Im sorry. However I have died, I know I wasnt in pain. I love you and your brother so much. And if its one thing I learned from life, its to hold on to what and to who you have. Its been a  blessing to live a life as your mother and I want you to know. I want you to be happym I dont want you to be sad because im gone, be happy because I existed. Because of the memories you have of me. Enjoy everyday like its your last and dont let anyone make desicions for you. I dont know ifyou and kellin are still having problems. But just know. You are all you have in your family. Dont let that die. Siblings will be with each other no matter what and you should know that.
-Love,
mom

I re read the letter endlessly until I feel the all the tears leave my system. I dont know if I can forgive kellin anymore. I dont know if I am capable of living through another tough moment.
Setting the card down under my pillow I try to sleep my mind off in hopes my rest will help me gain confidence to see kellin tommorow.
Putting my phone on vibrate, I check the time and hesd to sleep. Its only 10 I should be able to catch some sleep.
-dream-
"You cant stop following me around cant you. Stop being a little bitch and leave already" his knife like words pierced through my skin,
"K-kellin, im sorry"
I dont know whay I did wrong this time, but he looked furious, his eyes looked inhuman.
"Wake up" he spit out, walking menacingly closer to me. "Quinn, wake up!"his voice is getting distorted as my body falls backwards.
-end of dream-
I open my eyes quickly to see vic in front of my bunk with a worried face.
"Hey, I came in to check your bandages, but it seemed you were having a nightmare, you ok?" His caramel eyes were swimming with worry as he held the extra  white bondage in his hand.
I simply nod, wiping off my sweat.
"Ok, good. Ill check your arm tommorow.goodnight. or good morning? I mean its 4 am. Ok yea imma go." He starts to leave awkwardly but I hold on to his hoodie quickly. "Stay?"
He nods and smiles warmly as I make room for him.
Im scared. Im scared of what kellin eould have done if I hadent woken up from my dream.
He settles in and I immediately put my head on his chest. My eyes stsrt to drop with the help of his heartbeat and
His hands playing with my hair.

"Goodnight quinn."

Okkkkk.
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Ill come back to fix mistakes tommorow. But its 12:25 am rn and I want to sleep. Hope you enjoyed cuz this is 1000 words :D its not that long doe. Ok whatever.