Graciously Ginny (Letters Of Change Series Book 5)(COMPLETED)

Chapter Twelve

Graciously Ginny

Chapter Twelve

~~

Ginny tried to hold back the tears as she bid her Mother Farwell, she had toget back home, and she couldn't stay longer then the two days they had.

"I love you honey, and we'll see you soon for Christmas!" Scarlett told herbefore she boarded the train.

"Be careful" Ginny told her "And send word as soon as you're home."

Scarlett got into the train. And made her way to her seats.

"I don't like trains" Ginny said as she turned to Thomas, he nodded immediatelypulling her into his arms as he had before when Gideon left.

"I know."

She bit her lip trying to tell herself she'd see them in only two months' timesince it was now the beginning of October but somehow it didn't help it seemedshe could no longer stay logical instead she was simply always emotional.

She pulled away from him just as Mrs. Roberts and her daughter- Reba walked upto them.

"Is it true?" Mrs. Roberts asked

"Is what true?" Ginny questioned.

"Well Reba told me- "

"I did not mother-"

"Hush now Reba, anyways Reba told me that she heard that Mr. Clayton here hashired someone to help him work!" Mrs. Roberts didn't seem to take a breath asshe spoke so quickly her words seemed to pile on each other. Ginny looked atReba, she had blond hair and green eyes- a very pretty girl who was no doubtunmarried because of her meddling mother.

She noticed how Reba looked at Thomas and it slightly unnerved her- sure Thomaswas handsome anyone could see that but he was her husband, only she should lookat him like that.

Was she jealous of Mrs. Roberts' daughter? She shook that thought and tried toremain focused on the conversation.

"I did not hire, I reassigned among my staff. Albert Morgan and Agda Morganwill now be helping me, Albert is wonderful with numbers and Agda is a greatbook keeper."

Ginny was sure she heard wrong, Thomas was a workaholic perhaps he was onlymeaning to expand his business.

"But why?" Mrs. Roberts asked.

"Well if you must know I grew too busy and I wanted to spend more time with myfamily." Thomas said putting his arm around Ginny "Now if you'd excuse us weneed to get home, good day Mrs. Roberts, Miss Roberts."

Ginny looked up at him in wonder as they walked towards their waiting carriage.

"Did you really assign Agda and Albert to help you with your work?" Ginny askedamazed as he helped her into the carriage.

"I did indeed; I was going to tell you tonight." Thomas said as he climbed intothe seat next to her signaling to the driver that they were ready to go "If youlike I could hire a new butler and cook."

"No need, I've got it covered."

"Are you sure?" Thomas asked.

"Are you doubting my abilities to run the household?"

"No not at all-"

"Good because I learned from the best, my mother raised us- four- girls withouta governess or a cook or a maid."

"And how many children do you want?" Thomas asked nonchalantly, although heasked it casually it still made a blush creep onto her face

"I don't know... We've already got two so maybe one or two more..." Ginny said asnonchalantly as she could manage. She avoided his gaze and turned to look outthe window. He cleared his throat but didn't say anything more on the subject.

The rest of the day passed by slowly, she started the girls on their studiesafter lunch while she started preparations for supper. Signilda once again wentmissing as she had been doing for a few days now- Part of Ginny wanted tofollow her and she were she was off too but the other part of her really didn'tcare.

Her thoughts kept going back to Thomas, no matter how much she tried toconcentrate on something else. She looked down at her engagement ring and evenit didn't seem to hold the same meaning anymore, she could no longer pictureFergus in front of her, she could no longer remember his laugh or the exactcolor of his eyes. She looked down at her dog Callie, who sat near her waitingfor her to drop a scrap of food. She smiled and obliged giving the dog some ofthe roast she had been preparing.

After a very quiet dinner she led the girls upstairs with Callie on her heels,she liked how her dog followed her everywhere it made her feel less alone thenshe had felt before. She read to them just as she did every night then left once,they fell asleep. She went to her room and shut the door behind her.

She got dressed for bed and combed her hair before she climbed underneath hercovers. It seemed empty somehow, but she brushed that thought away as shecalled for Callie to get into the bed next to her. Her dog had grown larger andwas going to be closer to the size of a golden retriever by the time she wasfully grown.

She sighed and slowly drifted to sleep fighting thoughts of Thomas in theprocess.

** **

It struck her as odd that she could see herself in the distance, one neveractually saw themselves in anything aside from a reflection in a looking glassor in a reflection of what once was in a photograph.

Her hair seemed to be on fire as the sitting sun casted its rays upon it. Shefollowed her silhouette as it suddenly stopped; in front of her were two roads.

She looked at herself realizing once more how odd it all was. She turned hergaze back towards the roads when she saw a much missed face.

"Fergus" the name fell from her lips as he drew nearer.

He smiled at her sadly "my darlin'" he said barely audible, She had almostforgotten how deep and rich his voice was "You needn't be sad; you've still gota lot of life to live." He said wiping her tears away. She hadn't even realizedshe was crying until that moment.

"Fergus" she said reaching out to caress his cheek, but she couldn't touch him"Why did you leave me?"

"It was time." He said simply, his green eyes seemed to sparkle like theemerald stone they so favored "I will always love you just as you will me. butit is time for you my darlin' it is time for you to live." He ran his handalong her cheek just as he had before he died. She closed her eyes enjoying thecloseness her heart had been longing for since he left. She could feel histouch, smell his smell- she'd always loved how he smelt like a mixture betweensoap, leather and hay.

She opened her eyes once more but realized he was gone and standing in hisplace was her reflection only she looked different. Her blue-gray eyes had losttheir sparkle and seemed to be dead. Her red hair had lost its shine and herskin looked even paler than usual. She looked downright sorrowful.

** **

Ginny woke up with a start scaring Callie in the process. It was a dream shesighed, a very realistic dream. She slipped her engagement ring from her fingerand put it on her night stand before she got up and halfway ran to Thomas'sroom. Callie had stayed behind going back to sleep instead of following her.She felt so very alone and slightly afraid and she needed comfort. She didn't knockon Thomas's door instead she pushed it open shutting it behind her as she madeher way to his bed.

"Tommy, wake up!" she said shaking his shoulders.

"Ginny?" Thomas said sleepily sitting up "What's wrong? What are you doing inhere?"

Instead of answering him she pressed her lips to his, her hands on either sideof his face, it took him by surprised but soon he was returning her kiss, hisarms going around her. He pulled her closer to him making her heart feel asthough it would jump from her chest.

She ran her hands threw his hair; he gently cradled her back onto the bedkissing her with as much passion as she kissed him.

~~

Ginny woke up the next morning in Thomas's arms. She couldn't believe whatshe'd done the night before. She got up careful not to wake Thomas in theprocess and then ran from the room. She didn't know how she'd face him afterthis or how she'd control all the new emotions that were starting to surface.

She cared for Thomas deeply but was she in love? She didn't even want to thinkabout that because deep down she knew the answer would scare her more thananything and even more then that it would make her want to run- far.

These feelings only caused pain, hadn't she learned that with Fergus?
Although she had never had sex with Fergus, they were waiting for their weddingnight, a night that never came, and a night that fate had stolen from her.

After he died she never thought she'd feel alive again, she never thought she'dfeel love either but she had. Would she be able to live if something happenedto Thomas or the girls?

How would she carry on if she lost him?

She knew she couldn't so there was only one solution- She needed to distanceherself from him.

~~ ~~

Thomas looked at Ginny, he was completely and utterly in love with her sonaturally she was avoiding him at all cost. He wondered if she regrettedconsummating their marriage. He regretted a lot of things that wasn't one ofthem.

Normally he'd run and hide from such awkward situations; he'd bury himself inhis work or have a few drinks at the very saloon he hadn't stepped foot insince Ginny dragged him out of it. He had no desire to drink anymore nor did hefeel the need to work all day every day. Now he wanted to spend time with hisdaughters and his wife.

He watched as she played with the food on her plate his gaze landed on her handand much to his surprise the emerald ring she had worn constantly was nowhereto be found, he wondered if she had somehow lost it or if she simply stoppedwearing it, could that have something to do with last night? Perhaps she wasgetting over the loss.

"I haven't seen Signilda around lately, did you fire her?" Thomas asked tryingto make conversation.

"Nope she quit, she got married to Bucky Phillips- Agda told me they eloped andare halfway to California by now."

"Signilda and Bucky huh? 'Bout time I reckon." He said shaking his head, thelivery owner had fancied Signilda since the first day she'd stepped foot intheir town.

"Indeed" Ginny said with a giggle "That poor boy followed her like a puppy-dog."

Thomas smiled at the sound of Ginny's giggles, she was very becoming when shesmiled and laughed who was he kidding she could scowl and still be attractive.She could wear the ugliest clothes and he'd still find her beautiful, becauseshe was beautiful inside and out.

She bit her lip before her blue-gray eyes found his "I reckon I've got a lot todo before we go to Kansas for Christmas... If you could watch the girls today, Iwould like to go to the mercantile... Alone so I can find some C-h-r-i-s-t-m-a-sg-i-f-t-s."

"I know what you spelled!" Wilhelmina said gleefully.

Ginny smiled kissing Wilhelmina on the forehead as she got up from the table"Then you'll be sure to be good for Papa."

Thomas smiled at the sight, both of his daughters loved Ginny and for goodreason she was a wonderful mother to them. He got up and helped Ginny clear thetable.

"I'd like to accompany you there... I'll keep the girls busy while you shopthough."

Ginny bit her lip before nodding "All right."

~~ ~~

Ginny smiled as she collected the last of her supplies and made her way to thecounter.

"Mrs. Clayton." The dreadful voice of Mrs. Roberts reached her ears before shesaw the older woman.

"Mrs. Roberts, how are you?" She asked trying to be nice. The woman lookedsomewhat shocked before she cleared her throat and spoke.

"Doing some holiday shopping?"

"Yes ma'am, Tom and I and the girls are spending Christmas at my folks' place."

"Oh how nice." The woman said almost sarcastically.

"It will be. My family just loves Thomas and the girls." Ginny said pretendingshe didn't notice the woman's sour expression.

She finished up and had Thomas come in to help her carry everything to thewagon. He said a simple greeting to Mrs. Roberts before carrying everythingoutside to the wagon.

"Christmas was always my favorite holiday." Thomas said nonchalantly as hehelped her into the front seat. She smiled as she noticed their daughtersasleep in the back.

"Mine too." Ginny said looking towards the sky, the air felt cold and it lookedlike it could already snow any minute.

"Virginia" he said surprising her, he never used her full name before- notonce. She searched his dark brown eyes.

"Yes?"

"I wanted to speak to you... about last night."

"Oh-"

"I noticed you were acting... well different and um, I understand if you're notready to live as man and wife or if you regret it... I mean I just I understandif you want to go back to how things were before... I'm not saying that I regretit- because I don't believe me I don't... I'm just saying-"

"Thank you for understanding Tom." She said almost slightly disappointed. Shewould miss being in his arms and that fact scared her. She needed to distanceherself and if she were to do that she needed to stop gazing into his browneyes. They seemed to see past her and into her soul; they held something inthem they hadn't before- a shine or a sparkle- it was as if someone had turnedon a lantern behind them.

She sighed she had only a month and a half to make Christmas presents for herfamily. And for once she was happy tohave such a task and she hoped it would keep her mind occupied with somethingother than Thomas, it seemed he was all she thought about try as she might notto her thoughts always returned to him.