Graciously Ginny (Letters Of Change Series Book 5)(COMPLETED)

Chapter Fifteen

Graciously Ginny

Chapter Fifteen

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Ginny wanted to smack herself for running out on Thomas the way she had. He had proclaimed his love for her and what did she do? She ran away like she was on fire.

She shook her head at herself, why was she so ruined? She knew the answer to that. It was Fergus when he died it changed her, she had never felt so much pain in her life.

If he hadn't died, she'd still be able to love freely. Of course, she would have never met Thomas or Wilhelmina, or Lorelei and she couldn't imagine her life without her ready-made family. The girls seemed to get more adorable every day, and they helped her through her pain, they gave her a reason to get up every morning; they gave her a reason to exist. And Thomas, he was so different from Fergus. He was so different from any man she had met before; he had been a workaholic, a drunk, a man who was still in mourning for his late wife.

He had changed a lot, now he worked less and spent more time with his family, and he hadn't had a drink since she pulled him from the saloon that fateful night they had to get married. The crazy thing about it all was Thomas knew the pain of loss she had been experiencing; he felt it as his own. So why did that scare her so much? Why did she feel like she had to keep herself guarded from love, from feelings she knew she already had.

She paced the room, it was Christmas morning she needed to get up and get the girls dressed. But first she needed to find her husband and apologize. She donned her dark green dress; it was one of her favorites, she had bought it prior to Fergus's death.

It was emerald green with pale green embellishments on the skirts and bodice. It had a high collar in a deeper green, with the same colors at the sleeves and on the bottom of the skirt.

She did her hair in a chignon, deciding not to put the matching hat on just yet.

She put on the cameo ring Thomas had given her the night before and made her way downstairs to search for him. She bit her lip going over what she wanted to say to him while moving a wayward curl from her face that had already fallen loose from her bun.

She quietly took the steps as not to wake any of the children- who for once seemed to be sleeping in on Christmas morning, now that the majority of the children were older they seemed to sleep in longer than they ever had when she was growing up.

She looked at the clock on the mantel as she made her way to the library it was already five in the morning.

She decided to check the barn next since Thomas wasn't in the house. She grabbed her cloak on her way out. Pulling it close to her to keep the cold wind at bay, she followed the rope her father had insisted on putting up every year so they could find their way to the barn even in a snow storm.

Oddly enough it hadn't snowed to badly here or in Colorado this year. Just as well, Ginny always hated to be trapped inside the house all winter long.

She opened the door smiling as the familiar scent of horses, cows, hay and leather hit her nose.

"Tommy?" she called walking towards where the men in her family worked on Christmas gifts. "Tom, are you in here?"

"Gin, what are you doing in here?" Thomas sounded surprised as he stepped into her line of vision, she had to admit he looked very handsome in his work clothes, he held onto a pitchfork with one hand while he moved his golden colored hair from his forehead with the other.

"I wanted to talk to you... did my Ma put you to work?"

"No I offered, Mucking out stalls doesn't really bother me- I used to work at the livery when I was young." He half smiled and leaned against the pitchfork. "You look beautiful, what did you want to talk to me about?"

Ginny looked down at her dress you could only see a little bit of it from underneath her cloak. She returned her gaze back to him with a smile "I wanted to apologize."

"What for?" Thomas asked, his brown eyes appearing almost black in the dimly lit barn.

"For Last night, how I acted- I shouldn't have run away from you... I shouldn't have" she cleared her throat; she didn't want to tell him that she loved him that scared her too much "I'm sorry. I do care for you, and for the girls... I'm just not ready yet."

"I get it" He said leaning the pitchfork against an empty stall and stepping closer to her "I understand Ginny I know exactly how you feel; I just didn't want to keep anything from you... I wanted you to know that I love you. I love us, me you and the girls we've become a family. You've made me want to be better and I thank you for it."

Ginny wanted to cry- what he was saying was something she never thought she'd hear again- Fergus had told her he loved her, but it hadn't been like this. It was different with Fergus, they had been children who fell in love hard and fast he had been her whole world.