Good Girl Gone Bad

Chapter Five: Unknowing

Author's Note: I am so excited for December. Yeah, I know it's only the fourth of November, but guess what? In 27 days, it's December. And what does December mean? That's right, my birthday. And Christmas. I love the Christmas season. Sweaters, jeans and uggs, hats and scarves, being cozy, decorations, good books, cookies, hot chocolate, snow - ooh, I just get jumpy waiting!!!

Good Girl Gone Bad

Chapter Five: Unknowing

Bella

After bandaging my bloodied hand, I made my way over to Nolan's. My boss there, Talia Schminsky, was possibly the nicest person I knew. She understood what it was like for me to go through what I had. Her husband, Nolan Schminsky, had been in my regiment, and had come home a few months before I did. They were like older siblings to me. Like family. 

"Hey Bells. Nolan and I can drive you home tonight, but it'd probably be by sometime around two. I know you're usually still out working by then, but if you want..." Talia gave me her gentle smile, which I returned, shifting my injured hand so it was out of her view. 

"Thanks Talia. I'd really appreciate it," I said gratefully, sliding my black apron around my hips, slipping the custom black button-down and black tie over my head. Talia watched from her position at the hostess station, where she was dressed in a short and glittery blue cocktail dress. 

I walked to the back of the restuarant, to the kitchens, where the chefs were busy at work, sighing simultaneously as every new order came in. I peered out at the tons of eating families, wondering if they knew that we all all had feelings and lives and deserved respect as well. 

"Hey Bolt, wanna switch sections?" Jared questioned teasingly as he strode through the door to the kitchens, his arm full of dirty dishes. I helped him unload into the sink, chuckling and shaking my head. 

Jared Hughes was something like a brother to me. Unlike Jacob, who had pack duties to attend to, if I wasn't working, Jared and I were sprinting down the ten mile long stretch of road on the edge of Forks or surfing at First Beach. It was weird. I had been completely friendless when I first moved to Forks, but when I came back from the Army, all of a sudden, I had Jacob and Talia and Nolan and Jared and even Taylor. It was surprising, to say the least.

But although I had these friends, I still felt utterly alone. My heart had not opened up to anyone after them and it never would again. Never. 

I went back out into the restaurant, and scanning for anyone I knew in my section, I took a double-take when I saw Jacob by himself, with five hooded and scarved people in the booth behind him. Even though this should look normal, it was Jacob that we were talking about. Jacob never went anywhere. He was the biggest, laziest bum to have ever existed. 

"What're you doing here, Jake?" I croaked, trying to hide my hand from his suspicious eyes. I could see the hooded people staring at me, and unlike what I would've done a long time ago, I turned my glare on them, and they whirled back around. I looked back at Jacob. 

"Am I not allowed to come visit you at your job?" Jake asked, his face insolent and obnoxious. I took a menu off the table and whacked him with it. Someone passing behind me, Jared, snickered, and I gave him a low backward high-five with my free hand.

"Your hand, what happened?" Jacob questioned, and I schooled my face into a neutral position before speaking. I wasn't going to lie to him, because I knew it could get infected if someone didn't look at it, but I wasn't about to say it in public where the cloaked people were still intruding on our conversation. I could see a big one turning his head toward me, but I ignored it now.

"I was discovering myself," I said lowly, looking him in the eye. It was something Jacob and I shared, and the same with Jared and I. We sent messages to each other with our eyes. It was the only window into my mind. My heart. My soul.

"Oh, Bella," Jake whispered, reaching out for it. I pulled back, taking out my pad. 

"Whaddya want?" I asked, a little too loudly, recoiling from the attempt at an emotional exchange. Jacob sighed, but handed his menu to me. 

"A beer and fettucini alfredo," Jacob ordered. I rolled my eyes. 

"Can you get any weirder? They don't even go together."

"You don't go together."

"Smooth."

"I try, I try." 

I left him laughing his ass off, moving onto the next table. I could not see one person's face clearly, but I knew all eyes were on me. 

"Stop staring. Hasn't anyone ever told you it's rude?" I snapped, and they looked down. 

"Sorry. I have a thing with attention. Don't not come back. That's how I lose dough." The people laughed, and I was shocked. It sounded just like ... No. I was not thinking about them tonight. No way. Not now. 

"We'd just like some water and the family cheese pizza please," one voice said. It was so familiar, and the one who'd said it had a figure I recognized. The beautiful blonde ... I shook my head and nodded, turning and walking away. 

"Stop it," I hissed to myself, holding my hand to my head, trying to get that cruel voice of my head. Once in the kitchen and I had given one of the chefs the order, I leaned back against the wall, closing my eyes for just one moment. For that one moment, I saw what could have been. 

But, no, it couldn't have been. It was not meant to be, and it never would be. 

Author's Note: Next one will be longer and sooner.