Star Trek Voyager: Bonds of Love, Ties of Family

Star Trek Voyager: Bonds of Love, Ties of Family (Chapter 6)

A/n: Flashbacks are written as italics.

“Chakotay, I…” Sekaya began in a nervous disbelieving whisper as the reverberating sound of the slamming door faded to leave behind a stifling, airless atmosphere in the abruptly silent room. As the confused words left her mouth she stepped down the last step of the staircase on which she’d hovered, suffering shocked paralysis, since she’d unwittingly walked in on the explosive final scene of an argument between her brother and his Borg lover. Tentatively, she reached out a comforting hand to her brother’s shoulder, but Chakotay jerked away from as if her touch burned him. His own face was flushed with an emotional fire, anger, regret, confusion and fear all smouldered in his eyes as he twisted around to face her, his glare so sharp disbelief and betrayal that Sekaya flinched away from being on the receiving end of it.

Her withdrawal from him didn’t stop him from finally addressing her though. “Don’t start Sekaya, you’ve done enough.” He muttered bitterly, his gaze once again fixated on the closed doorway. “What did you say to her?” he growled out accusingly, ignoring her looks of entreaty as he began pulling clothes on over his sleepwear of a vest and shorts, determined to follow Seven and at least try to save their relationship, their love.

Sekaya bit her lip hard, feeling defensive and repentant at the same time. The tortured pain she’d heard in Seven’s voice had shaken her; after all she’d assumed the drone within the woman was impervious to such extremes of emotion. “I never spoke to her about you…” She attested, though her voice necessarily lacked conviction as she was uncomfortably aware of Seven’s cries being remarkably similar to the concerns she’d voiced to Hector. Bravely she met his enflamed eyes, “She’s upset Chakotay, but if she loves you she’ll come back to you…” She tried to console as she saw his shoulders begin to shake.

Chakotay made a derisive sound through his painfully gritted teeth. “You don’t know her at all; she’s not selfish like that.” He murmured thickly.

“Not selfish?” Sekaya echoed incredulously, horrified by the implicit admiration in his tone. “What else would you call someone who leaves the one they claim to love, hurting them in the process?”

Chakotay stood up, his muscles clenching in anger. “She doesn’t think like that, if she thought I was going to be worse off by loving her, she’d tell me to stop loving her and not bring her own feelings into consideration, which is what she’s just done!” He was speaking more to himself than to Sekaya, remembering with pain the self-sacrificial actions Seven was inclined to think right, from giving herself up to the Borg Queen to prevent Voyager’s assimilation three years ago to terminating their relationship after hearing the prediction of her death just a week ago. It had been too much for him to expect her to get over that particular guilt so quickly and by pushing her to withstand his family’s criticism he’d brought it back to haunt them… As he watched Sekaya pale visibly, he repeated his question, “What did you say to her? I need to know Sekaya…”

Sekaya shuddered at the pleading note in his voice. “I never said anything to her Chakotay; I’m not so interfering as that.” She passionately reiterated before her voice became less certain, “I only voiced some…concerns to Hector in private, that’s all. She must’ve overheard me somehow…”

“Enhanced hearing.” Chakotay informed her coldly, turning away as Sekaya gasped in mortification but slowly allowing his anger, his feelings of violation, to resurface. “You were worried about what people might think rather than what we would feel, what gives you the right to intrude on our lives?” The question left his throat as a snarled shout and when she didn’t immediately answer he seized the door handle and began to wrench it open, intending to search for Seven.

“I was worried about you, like she said, what would happen if she were to die because of those implants of hers?” Sekaya asked softly, searching his face sympathetically as he winced, his jaw locking in stubborn denial. “If you’re right and she does love you, maybe her way of doing this is for the best, I certainly don’t want to see you hurt again, like you were with that Cardassian slut…”

Chakotay’s eyes flashed in outrage. “Don’t put Seven and Seska in the same category ever again.” He instructed her with indisputable vehemence before his face twisted with a sad irony, “And Sekaya, do you really think its right for me to let go of a woman who wouldn’t hurt me, except by dying, which you make to admit, even former drones have no control over!” He spat the words out, nearly crying now. Her mention of Seska had brought back all the memories of their last big confrontation, when he’d refused to leave the Maquis…

Sekaya swallowed hard, thinking over all the loss in her life, and the blessing of family she had now. How could she deny Chakotay the same chance, after all he’d been through? “No, I suppose it wouldn’t be right, not at all.” She finally conceded, suddenly overwhelmed by old memories…

“I can’t take this back Sekaya.” Chakotay murmured regretfully as he gazed down at his crumpled Starfleet uniform, shoved into his unwilling hands by his younger sister, who was looking up at him pleadingly, desperately.

“Of course you can, just go back and tell Starfleet that your resignation was a mistake, that you just needed time off to grieve…” Sekaya replied hurriedly, avoiding his gaze as she thought painfully of their father.

“No Sekaya.” Chakotay murmured sadly, his fingers tightening momentarily around the uniform before he laid it gently but determinedly back into her hands. “I’ll never wear that again, not after what happened.”

Hearing the resolve in his voice, Sekaya’s became even more disconcerted. “You worked so hard for your commission, don’t let the Cardassians take that from you too…” She stopped as Chakotay’s resigned expression transformed into one of vengeful anger.

“They’ve already taken everything else, what the hell does it matter anymore?” He snapped bitterly, turning away from her for a second to recollect himself before facing her again, now completely earnest in his tone and expression, “That’s why we need to fight them; the Maquis are going to…”

“Get themselves killed?” Sekaya interrupted sharply, “Getting yourself involved in a suicidal “war” won’t bring Father or anyone else back Chakotay, whatever that Bajoran flirt and that Klingon dropout have told you!”

“Leave Seska out of this! As for B’Elanna, I recruited her!” Chakotay retorted hotly as he glared at her in disbelief, “How can you just sweep the massacre of our people under the carpet?”

Those shouted words turned Sekaya’s hurt into burning rage, “Is that what you think I’m doing? I’m just trying to get on with my life!” She shot back, tears now streaming down her face, “Do you think Father would’ve been happy with our lives ending in a Cardassian mass grave?” she spat out accusingly.

“My father taught me to stand up for what I believe in.” Chakotay replied with a sudden chill replacing the fiery anger in his voice as he headed for the doorway, “Maybe you should try it someday.” He added damningly.

“Get out.” Sekaya ordered him suddenly, “Go and try and get yourself killed if that’s what your pride is so set on, but it’ll be with blood on your hands.” With that she walked into her bedroom and Chakotay, after pausing for a few seconds as her words sunk in, those which would haunt him for years afterwards, silently walked out of his sister’s apartment, their lives wrenched apart in five minutes.

These memories struck Sekaya with particular force as Chakotay nodded quietly in acknowledgement of her words but still headed for the door. Hurriedly she joined him at the threshold, causing him to glare at her in frustration. “I’m going to find her.” He told her unequivocally.

“I know.” Sekaya replied shortly as she shrugged on her coat. “I’m going to help you search.” She sighed when she caught his incredulous look and shrugged, “You’ve made it clear enough that this is at least partly my fault, so I’m entitled to help fix it aren’t I?”

“Yes, it is partly your fault.” Chakotay agreed, “Come on.”

A/n: This chapter was so exasperating! I had to rewrite some of it, having the cold really affects my patience so it’s taken me three days to write this short little chapter! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! :D It’ll make me feel better.