Crash And Burn

Epilouge

Hate me, or don't, that's how I felt the story should end
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The cold, crisp Decemember air nips at my face, threatening to invade the warmth of my beanie and sweatshirt, as I head towards the woods.

Mind blank, set on nothing but where I'm going, thoughts numb, as they have been, for the last month.

Pushing aside the few branches of the frozen bushes, the famialr lake coming into view.

I take a seat, the same rock where I had first opened up to sage about one of my many problems.

Sighing, I pull out the 2 pill bottles, setting them noiselessly in the snow.

Here I am again, back to the same, depressing, desperate mind set I was only months ago.

Before I had met sage, I was broken.

I have been beat, raped, betrayed, lied to, and let down, on multiple occasions, by multiple people.

Building up what i call today, as my horrible trust issues.

I spend years building up a wall around myself, a wall I thought had been pretty sturdty.

But that all changed when I met sage, in such  a short amount of 5 months, she had managed to break down most, if not all, that I had spent years building up.

She was the one person I trusted in this world, the one person I thought would never let me down, wouldn't hurt me, or leave me like the rest.

But in the end, she did, she committed all 3 of those acts.

But the twist this time, the sick, ironic twist, is that it wasn't her fault.

It wasn't mine either.

It was the worlds.

That day in the car, the day that was meant to celebrate, and be happy.

Had turned out to be literally, the worst day of my life.

And that. Is saying something.

That is saying a damn lot.

Over the past month, I have come to realize I loved sage, even if I didn't know her for very long, and we didn't quite get intimate.

I fell in love with her chocolate brown hair, and bright green eyes, in the 5 month span we had with each other.

No one, and I mean no one, has ever tried to break me out of my shell as hard as she had tried.

How much time she put in to me, listening to me vent, comforting me when I would cry, helping me threw anxiety and panic attacks.

She was there for me, like no one else ever had been.

And I will never be able to express how grateful I am for her, how grateful I was, and how grateful I always will be.

But now, sense she's gone.

There fore, I no longer Have nothing to live for.

Sure, these past few weeks Jesse, and eli have been there for me, turns out they are pretty good friends.

Considering they lost people to.

The out come of the accident was tragic, resulting in Alex and sage losing there lives.

Jesse, Eli and I lived, various injurys between the 3 of us.

They may have lost people, but they still have each other.

I, on the other hand, have no one.

No one to live for, hell if I'll live for myself.

I will never be okay alive, I'm far to past the point of broken to fix, expecslly now.

So ending on that thought, I calmly pick up the first bottle, dumping the pills into my mouth.

Taking a sip of water, not one bit of hesitation as I swallow the pills.

Proceeding to pick up the second bottle, I smile, laughing lightly, shaking my head.

Maybe it will work, this time around

With that finial thought, I dump the second bottle of pills down my throat.

Smile remaining, I lay down in the snow, closing my eyes, letting the cold over take me.

Feeling sleep over take me, I sigh, "it's about time"

"World, here I go, hell, here I come"

And then, silence.