Hope ~S.M.~

I miss you.

Guys please read the authors note at the end and tell me what I should do😭🙏

Shawn and I walked to the closest Starbucks and sat down at a table.

"Um... You still love that Vanilla frap thingy blended with coffee right?" Shawn asked and I nodded before he walked away to order.

I began to look around the store waiting for Shawn to return.

Shawn returned with our drinks. He placed mine in front of me and I thanked him looking down at the table instead of at him. When I first left him I wished for him back every night when I couldn't sleep. Every night my mind wondered to the thought of Shawn and what he could possibly be doing or thinking at that exact moment. And now that he's here I don't really know if I want him back, but while he was gone I did miss him. Now... not so much.

"I miss you." Shawn stated and I looked up at him. "I missed you too."

I did miss him a lot. But I had to leave. It was the only way.

"You understand why I had to leave right? I couldn't stay." I said looking down at my drink and playing with the straw. "Yeah I completely understand why you left. I was such a horrible boyfriend, and I understand if you never want to get back together and work things out but I am willing to try if you are. I miss my girlfriend and my best friend, baby I miss you."

I bit my lip not knowing what to say.

I want to work things out with Shawn. I really do. But we all know what happened last time we tried to work things.

"I know what you're thinking and I've changed over these past few months I have. You leaving me made me realize a lot. I've spent 3 months 5 days 22 hours 21 minutes without the love of my life being right besides me." Shawn said and I looked up at him. "You counted how long we've been apart?" I asked and he shrugged.

"The point is I've realized I'm nothing without you. I mean without you my heartbreak songs are amazing, no offense. But my love songs are shit without you around. I miss writing love songs about you and singing them to you after its completed. I miss laying in bed next to you watching Netflix or YouTube videos. I miss you in the house. I feel so....empty without you. Yeah we've had quite a few bad memories but we've also had a lot of good ones. I wouldn't be where I am in my career if it weren't for you." Shawn paused and I looked up at him to see him wiping his eyes.

"I'm truly sorry for everything. You're way out of my league and I'm simply not enough for you. I've waisted so much of your time already. We can take things slow if you decide you want to get back together. I'm not forcing you to do anything, it's all up to you. I know that you're probably better off without me anyways and in no way shape or form am I trying to ruin your happiness but, you're the only one for me." Shawn's voice craked a few times while trying to hold back his tears.

It was quite for a few minutes between us while I was debating on what to do.

Do I go back to Shawn and hope that he's really changed for the better? Do I hope that he's the Shawn that I've originally fell in love with while in high school?
He was basically my first everything. Shawn is all I know. I'm not a party girl, I don't go to clubs to meet guys or hook up with them. Mainly because I've anyways had Shawn. I've never had any real friends, all my friends were Shawn's friends which really only made us friends by association. I didn't really know any of them. Shawn was and still is everything to me.

Or..

Do I end everything and anything that I've ever known? Shawn and I have always been attached by the hip. In high school I never went anywhere without him, he was like my best friend and bodyguard. When he first got big on social media in high school and left me for Magcon on the weekends I was confused and didn't know what to do. He was my escape. Shawn basically stopped the physical bullying at school by being my "bodyguard" but at home he couldn't save me there. That's why every Friday night I was able to have Sleepovers at Shawn's house until around 10 o'clock at night on Sunday. Karen and Manny were very open to this idea, considering Shawn told them I have no friends and he was my only friend. Which wasn't a lie. But to make sure we wouldn't do anything Shawn's mom made us sleep on blow up beds in the basement where she can check up on us. At that time there wasn't anything between Shawn, he was simply just my best friend. But once we grew up and graduated high school everything changed. My mom kicked me out the house and Shawn was about to go on his first world tour. When he heard about what happened he nearly almost canceled tour to help me, but I wouldn't have let that happen.

He took me in. He allowed me to stay with him. He has done so much for me. He was there when nobody else was. Him and Gerty are all I have.

I can't let go of everything I've ever had.

"Do you really think we can work things out?" I asked Shawn looking him in the face.

The way his face lit up you would've thought he was previously thinking the worse... he probably was.

"I think we can work it out, all it takes is effort." Shawn says and I half smile.

"I guess we can try and make things work." I say and Shawn's bright red face held a huge smile.

"I promise I won't go back to how I was. I don't want to continue hurting you, you've already been through a lot and I'm so sorry. Honestly." He said genuinely.

"Shawn it's okay... well its not okay but it's going to be okay so I'm okay." I say causing Shawn to let out a small chuckle. I probably made no sense even though it made total sense in my head.

"Do you want to maybe go grab a somewhat early dinner? To you know maybe try and catch up....?" Shawn asked nervously and I agreed.

Even though it was obvious that things weren't exactly perfect between Shawn and I and things weren't necessarily okay, it's going to be okay. We never know what the future holds until it happens but I have a pretty good feeling about my future with Shawn.... things are going to work out. I can feel it. Everything is going to be okay in the end and I'm completely okay with that.

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I feel like I can end things here and it would be a perfect happy ending.

Should I continue writing this book?? Please comment telling me what I should do please 😭🙏🙏

I'm kinda out of ideas for the book that's why I feel this would be the perfect ending to a shitty book.

If you guys say I should end it here I'll write a few extra chapters about their updated life with possible children if that sounds interesting to you guys.

Please comment telling me what to do because I honestly don't know 😭😭🙏🙏🙏

Twitter: @unnaturalmendes
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