Ugh it's a fucking Thursday. I hate Thursdays , all they do is get me too pumped up for Friday.
But I usually make it because one of my best friends, Elton. He's super helpfully even though he slightly full of shit but , it's the type of shit you don't actually mind smelling. We have too much I common he's like my twin that came out of the wrong vagina. My other bestfriend Milene is just great with advice and is funny. I care abut them a whole lot. It used to be the four of us but Tiffany turned onus she let the internet fame and guys get to her that she forgot who really cared about her , it sucks but it's life right ?
Lately I've been melancholy. I know why too. It's my insecurity when it comes to Marcus. Sometime I feel like he so beautiful you know and just that average girlfriend , everyday I tell myself how could you become more beautiful , how could you look like that , how can you become perfect for him ? I never find myself look this way or going this crazy for a guy.
But then I tell myself "Tori , your fine. If he didn't want you he would have you if he didn't think you were beautiful" . Even though he said the things he said he doesn't tell me I'm beautiful and I can't feel that affection. Deep down I know things ever be different if we weren't so far away. Sometimes , I just think I overthink too much. I can't help feeling this way and it's driving me inside out because it sucks to know I feel in love over words. The person behind those words is a mystery to me . His voice, his touch, his touch it's all a figment in mind I wish was true. The other day Marcus said he loved me and I came up with some bullshit excuse saying " maybe you do , feelings are weird " what the fuck does that even mean ?! The truth is I wanted to say I love you but was to afraid . But when I did get the chance he told me he didn't love me anymore. Sucks right ? He said it was to early. Now I look like the awkward one falling in love with someone who doesn't call or FaceTime me but just simply text all day. I feel like a complete dweep.
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Tori
RomanceGet ready to enter the world of Tori she's a mess. Dealing with friends, family , lovers and school doesn't make it any better for this Brooklyn wild child.
