The Unspoken Introduction of Hercules Mulligan

Chapter 2

      "MON AMI!!!!!" Lafayette leapt dramatically onto the table, causing me to nearly drop my burrito. "Jesus Christ, Laf! Chill!"

      Laf cackled and slid into the seat next to me. "I scared you, no?"

      "Nobody scares Herc," John said, laughing before I could answer, as he approached the lunch table with Alex. I slammed my burrito on the table and chugged at my Coke. "Damn right!" They laughed.

     "But seriously, somebody ask me why I am excited," Laf said. Alex, John and I shared a look. And then John and Alex shared even more of a look. And scooted a little bit closer to each other. Seriously, I don't know why those two don't just break it off with their respective girlfriends and hook up with each other publicly. They have both come to me separately and admitted feelings for one another. I've given them the same advice: grow a pair and get it over with.

      I caved first. "Okay, Laf, why are you excited?" He pounded his fist on the table. "BECAUSE, mon cher, we are"-- he paused for effect-- "seniors."

      I stared at him. John finally broke his love gaze with Alex and shook his head. "Yes, Laf, we are seniors. And we have, in fact, been seniors for, oh, what would you say, Alex?" 

     "Seventy days?"

      "Yes, seventy days. And every day, you have announced this fact. When will it stop being a big deal?"

      Laf smacked John not-so-lightly on the side of the head. "When we are to graduating, Laurens you wonderful idiot! When we are free!" We all laughed. I went back to my glorious burrito. John and Alex made each other giggle and made me and Laf raise our eyebrows at each other every time they did. 

     Eventually, it got quiet. I watched Angelica, sitting at her lunch table across the commons, where she sat with her sisters, Theodosia, Mariah, and Martha. 

     After a moment, John cleared his throat nervously and said, "Hey guys?"

      "What's up," Laf and Alex said simultaneously. 

      "Um... I'm thinking about breaking up with Martha." 

      Alex's head shot up. Laf said "Quoi?", sounding startled, and I quietly took a bite of my burrito and thought 'finally'. Martha was John's boyfriend of two months. John was very gay. He had had a thing for Alex as long as Eliza, Angelica, Mariah, half the freaking senior class, half the freaking world, had. He dated Martha because she liked him. She was cute, she was pretty, she was nice, she was perfectly fine. She even talked to him about turtles. But hell, even me, who does not identify as the worlds most emotionally savvy guy could tell they were not a good fit.

     John's face was bright red. Even his freckles were red. "I just feel like it's not working out. I don't know. I mean, maybe I shouldn't. I just--" 

     "Hey." Alex put a hand on his arm. "It's okay."

      "Do what's best for you, mon ami." Laf added. 

     I swallowed the last of my sweet sweet burrito and said, "Laurens, my man, if you know she's not right for you, then that's that. It's okay." He smiled at me. "Thanks, man. That means a lot. All of you. I guess I'm just sort of confused right now." He glanced at Alex and grinned bashfully. Alex turned faintly pink and took a sudden interest in his carrot sticks.

      "I'm confused about something, too," I added.

       Laf looked concerned. "What's wrong?"

      "Why aren't you eating your burrito, John? And can I have it? Like please?" John rolled his eyes and shoved his burrito at me. I held it up like a shot glass, toasting. "One more round, gents!!!"