The Good, The Bad, and The Dirty

PATRICK: THE REJECTION

"Good morning Chicago. My name is Patrick Stump,"

"And I'm Melodie Vega , and this, is Jet Pack News."

"In today's news, more on the mysterious disappearances of ten local students from the University of Chicago. Could it be a possibility for the Chicago Cubs to move to Salt Lake City, Utah? And finally could the waters of Lake Michigan be one of the number one causes of cancer?"

I guess I should start off with what's going on here. Well, about three years ago, in 2020, our, Fall Out Boy's, fans started to loose interest in the band and our music. We tried wooing them back with new songs, more shows, even a new sound to our music, but nothing seemed to draw their attention back to us. They seemed to have moved on to this new band called "Lost Heroes." But anyway. So since we got booted out of the music business since we lost our fanbase, me and the guys decided to start up a news show. We even got Panic! at the Disco and Twenty one Pilots to help us out. Even though both bands are still going strong they still agree to come in and help us out with the show.

"Well," I said, "Let's start off the show with our Daily Food Source with Twenty one Pilots. Tyler, Josh, you have the floor."

The camera flips around to show Tyler and Josh standing at a counter with food around them.

"Good morning everyone." Tyler began, "Today I will be sharing with you a recipe that goes back as far as ancient Greeks. Chicken tacos. First we wil-"

"The Greeks didn't have tacos." Josh interrupted.

"FUCKING SHUT IT JOSH! I'm trying to run a show here." Josh just hangs his head and lets Tyler continue talking and show the audience how to make chicken tacos.

"And that, is how you make a chicken taco properly." Tyler finished. "Now, back to you, Patrick, in the studio." The camera switches back to show Patrick and Melodie sitting at the desk.

"Yes, thank you Tyler and Josh for your interesting ways of making those tacos. I think I know what I am having for dinner tonight." Melodie said.

"Now," I began, "let's send this over to my boyfr-, I mean Pete, for sports." The camera switches to Pete as I feel my face turn super red. I have to be careful to keep our relationship out of work or else we could get in big trouble from our bosses, which I still have no clue who they are.

"Thank you Patrick," Pete started, "Last night proved to be a great night for Chicago sports fans. The White Sox beat the Angels 7-3 and the Cubs sweep the Marlins in the series closer, winning 15-2. Way to go Chicago. And in more recent news, Cubs manager, Joe Maddon, speaks more on the team's possible move to Salt Lake City. So now we take it to Joe Trohman, who had the pleasure to talk with Mr. Maddon after the game last night. Joe."

The camera switches to show a clip of a recorded interview of Maddon and Trohman from the night before.

"BRENDON!!! WE'RE ROLLING. CAMERA OVER HERE. NOW, GODDAMN." Joe yelled at the camera guy, Brendon Urie.

"Oh sorry Trohmo. I'll make sure that gets edited out." Brendon laughs and snorts because he won't edit it and just leave it there because he thinks it would be completely hilarious.

The clip goes on to show Trohman interviewing the Cubs manager about the possible move. After the clip is done the camera flips back to show Pete standing in his place picking his nose with one hand and eating a burger from McDonald's in the other.

"Woah. Come on Marcus. You could have told me we were about to switch back to me. God. Who knows how many people just saw me like that on live television. To think how fast this is going to travel on the internet. Anyway, now let's go to Andy for weather." The camera then flips over to Andy Hurley in front of the weather map. Andy looks like any ordinary weather guy, except one big difference. All Andy was wearing was a pair of athletic shorts and a pair of beat up Nikes. Typical Andy Hurley, looks just like he does when he's drumming, well except he's wearing shoes now.

"Hi," Andy said, "This is the weather for the week." he points to the screen to indicate it is showing a 7 day outlook. "That's all I have. Soooo, Patrick back to you." The camera flips for a final time back to Patrick and Melodie at the desk.

"Well, looks like done here for today, so we will see you back here on Monday morning at eight o'clock. Everybody have a great weekend. Peace out Chi-town." I said before the camera was shut off for the weekend.

"So," Melodie turned to me before continuing. "You want to maybe meet up for dinner tomorrow night, say 6?"

"Melodie, I told you." I began. "I am in a very committed relationship with Pete. And besides, we all know that neither Pete nor I are the type to cheat. I'm sorry Melodie. I'm sure there's someone else that would love to go on a date with you though."

"Well Patrick, I don't recall asking you on a date. I believe I only asked if you would like to meet for dinner. Last I checked, none of those words mean, a date."

"And last I checked you apparently have absolutely no clue what the word date means." I countered as I got up to leave. "Nevertheless however, my answer still remains at no. I'm sorry Melodie, like I said, Pete and I have too many feelings for each other to do anything like cheat or break up."

"Fine." She half shouted as she stood to leave as well. "I will just find someone else to go 'on a date' with. Just don't come crawling to me when you and Pete separate because I will just tell you that I am too committed with someone else for you"

And with that, she turned and left the studio. Well, I thought, at least she's finally gone. I was starting to get irritated with her. I don't understand why she can never take the hint that I'm not interested in her, or even that I have a boyfriend. And what was that about, when Pete and I separate? Pete would never break my heart. Hell, I would never break Pete's heart either. No. Just ignore it Patrick. Don't let her get in your mind. Nothing is going to happen between Pete and I. Maybe I just need a nap. I did get up quite early for the show.

With that, I left and headed for home.

When I got home I went to the living room where Pete already was and told him that I'm a little tired and gonna go rest for a couple hours.

"K, call if you need me, I think I'm gonna go out for a little while." Pete blurted down the hall.