Too Real To Handle

Mutiple Sclerosis/Multiple Fears

A sickness that doesn't normally cause you to lose control of limbs but all other symptoms were normal. I was so mad. At who? I wasn't mad at God, not at friends, parents, school or even life. Just mad. Why? Why! WHY!? WHY ME? WHY NOT SOMEONE ELSE IN SOME OTHER SCHOOL IN SOME OTHER TOWN IN SOME OTHER COUNTY IN SOME OTHER STATE IN SOME OTHER COUNTRY IN SOME OTHER CONTINENT?! Why me. I was in silent tears as the doctor explained to my parents, sister, and I what Multiple Sclerosis was. Finally I had enough and I mumbled "what's wrong with me". He asked me what I said and I yelled "WHATS WRONG WITH ME!". I was in more than just a silent tear now. I was in a hyperventilating, triple chin, ugly cry session. My mom ran to my bed and hugged me in tears. He then told me he wasn't sure what was wrong or if anything was wrong. I told him there must be something that I couldn't just be like this. He asked me to clarify. "sick" I said "constantly scared that I might die". My dad then started crying. He told me that they were going to start doing test. I asked him to clarify. He said blood test and things of that sort. I nodded. "When do we start?"
Through the next month my schedule was normal test through the morning then visitors then sleep then check up then family and my two friends. The day before my best friends birthday I finished my speech. I was determined to be there. No matter what. The doctor came in for my daily check up. "Hello miss B****. ". I want to go to my best friends party. The exact words I blurted out. He shocked his head and I knew what this meant. I then told him if he didn't give me the permission to go I would find a way to sneak out. He looked at me and said "Fine. You need a night out, but I'm sending a nurse with you." I smiled and said thank you more times than I could count then he started my check up.
Has anyone ever been so excited they got ready for an event that they get ready three hours earlier than necessary. Dangit it's a journal. You can't answer. Anyways that's what I did. My nurse arrived at my door right on time along with my guy friend. He told me that she had sent him to pick me up. I was curious but I was too excited to focus on one thing for too long. He told me he had a bit of a cold in the car and sneezed a lot. I didn't think twice about it. Goodness what I would do to known then. I got to the party and gave my speech and over all had a great time. My speech was a hit. All good things must come to an end though. I started coughing and my nurse looked at me funny, but I dismissed it. Then I sneezed. Then I got really cold. Then I started shivering. Then I started aching. Then when I left the party with my nurse and male friend I blacked out in short intervals. My male friend then started speeding to the hospital while my nurse helped me. I got there and they rushed me in and started fixing me. Doing all kinds of work. I don't remember most of it. Just that I was scared. When I woke up in my bed with the doctors and my family in the room I knew something was wrong. It was silent in the room.  Finally the doctor spoke.

..........I have some news.