Chapter 7
Cheryl closed the front door behind her and turned around to see Kimberley sit down in an armchair by the window. Her eyes were red from crying in the car, and she pulled a tissue out of the box on the table in front of her.
Cheryl hesitated by the door, unsure of what was upsetting Kimberley so much. She was worried and not entirely sure of how to deal with whatever it was. She took a deep breath and walked into the living room, sitting down on the sofa, not far from where Kimberley was sat.
“Whatever it is, Kimberley, we can sort it out – together”, she chose her words carefully, wanting to reassure Kimberley but at the same time wanting Kimberley to open up to her.
Kimberley looked up, swallowing as she tried to muster the strength to tell Cheryl what was wrong.
“Babe,” encouraged Cheryl, gently. “I thought we agreed to tell each other everything? Good or bad.” She hesitated, but seeing Kimberley wasn’t going to start talking, she continued. “In the car, you said you were sorry. What’s happened?”
“Cheryl, I love you”, started Kimberley, the tears returning to her eyes. She stopped, again taking a deep breath.
“I know you do. I love you too, you know I do. What’s happened?” Cheryl stood up, moving towards Kimberley’s chair and sitting herself down on the arm of it. She touched Kimberley’s arm gently. “Tell me”.
“I can’t breathe, sometimes I feel like I can’t get my breath and I think about how things are going to be and I just feel sick, and then I think about how amazing you are and I feel so guilty for feeling this way. I am so sorry, Cheryl. I never thought I’d feel this way – I waited so long to be with you and now the thought of being with you, like this, it makes me feel sick”. Kimberley stood up, crying freely now, and walked over to the main window, opening it and leaning on the sill.
Cheryl made no attempt to stop her from walking away. She carried on looking at the chair where Kimberley had just been sat and a tear rolled down her cheek.
“It makes you feel sick?” she repeated back at Kimberley, lifting her head to look at her.
Kimberley turned to face her, her face wet with tears. “Sometimes yeah, I feel like I can’t breathe and I’m gonna be sick, I can’t explain it”.
“Being with me makes you feel sick?” Cheryl put a hand up to her own chest as she spoke, the hurt showing on her face.
“No!” Kimberley shook her head emphatically. “Oh god, no. That’s not what I mean. Oh god Cheryl I love you”. She moved towards Cheryl but stopped before reaching the chair.
“Then I really don’t get what the f*ck is going on” said Cheryl, her annoyance starting to show. “You love me, but being with me makes you feel sick? You’re gonna have to help me out here cause I’m really confused”.
Kimberley closed her eyes, taking a deep breath then opening them to look at Cheryl. “Being with you makes me happier than I could ever have imagined. But everything else that goes with it – it’s not me, I didn’t want it – the press attention, the constant crowds everywhere we go. It wasn’t like this at the start, but the more time passes the more I notice it. If we stay together and go public, it’s gonna be awful…”
Cheryl interrupted her mid-sentence, “if we stay together? What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Oh god, this is all coming out wrong. I need water, do you want water?” and Kimberley hurried into the kitchen, not waiting for Cheryl’s reply.
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