oneshots » fall out boy

Literally Goals // multiship

"This was the best night ever, guys." Pete said dizzily.

"Yeah, it was! The concert was a big hit, we must admit. What time is it?" Patrick asked Andy, the vegan being the only one who was sober. The guys admired the force of will of their straight-edge friend. Living a tox-free life must be really great, but for them, alcohol was great too.

"It's way after midnight guys. You need to sleep, no other parties in the van, got it?" Andy said resting his hands on Joe's and Patrick's shoulders.

"Okay, mom." Joe smirked at him, Andy shaking his head tiredly.

"I'm driving." Andy stated before jumping into the van and grabbing the steering wheel.

"Aren't you going to sleep?" Patrick asked. "I mean, you partied with us too, bud. Don't you need the rest?"

"Nah, Patty, I'm good." he replied starting the engine. Joe and Pete jumped in the back of the van and Pete accidentally kissed Joe extremely close to his lips.

"You fucking weirdo! You said you're not gay!" Joe yelled, punching Pete in the arm.

"Oh, dearie, for you I would be a thousand times gay." Pete wishpered in Joe's ear, making Andy and Patrick uncomfortable.

Patrick turned around to Andy again. "You sure?" Andy just nodded, which made Patrick smile so big, the corners of his mouth were literally reaching his ears. "Okay." he said kissing Andy on the cheek, making both of them blush.

Patrick pushed Pete and Joe aside and lay down on the back seat, trying to fall asleep.

***

A few hours passed by before Pete shook Patrick to wake him up.

"Hey, lunchbox, we're stopping here to pee in a bush, you need to come?" he asked wobbling back and forth.

"No, I'm okay." Patrick responded, rubbing his tired eyes.

"Okay, but remember that we don't have empty cans anymore in case of an emergency so you'll have to hold it."

He got up and looked through the window. They were in the middle of the road, fortunately no one was around. That place looked incredible at sunrise, as the sky was fading from dark blue to an white-ish blue. The first rays of sunshine were one of the most beautiful things combined with the sky, forming a pleasing purple. Patrick always thought the sky was a piece of art only made by the magic of light. If his music career didn't succeed, he would love to resume his college and eventually become an astronomer.

But right when he turned his head to the direction of the bush the guys went to, he felt his heart stop for a moment.

"You okay, Pat- HOLY FUCKING SHIT, JOE, TURN AROUND!" he heard Andy yell from the front of the van.

Joe's pants were hanging on his feet, his boxers right under his uncovered dick. "What happen- oh."

Andy covered his eyes with his hand, sighing loudly so anyone on a 50 mile radius could hear him. Patrick was just staring at him, not knowing what to do or what to say.

"I'm sorry, guys. I'll just uh..." Joe said looking at his pants, his mind not being able to process what he should do. The alcohol usually got him so bad that he forgot what his name was. Patrick swore he saw Joe smirk at him before figuring out how to pull his pants back up.

Patrick shook his head many times, closing his eyes tightly, trying to forget what he saw. "C'mon, Patrick, it's just a dick. You have one too." Laying down again on the back seat, Patrick tried to fall asleep. Joe and Pete sat next to him, Joe smiling like a pervert. "When he'll be sober again, he'll be so embarrassed."

But when Pete shook him violently, all chances of him sleeping became impossible.

"PATRICK, LOOK! HORSES!" he yelled too close to his ears. "You love horses!"

"What?" Patrick said confused, looking through the window, he swore he would never ever do that again. A horse was just standing in the middle of the road, a big dick hanging out.

Pete and Joe were laughing histerically, as Patrick's mouth looked like it was going to touch the floor and Andy was facepalming as usual. "That is such a big fucking dick." Patrick chuckled.

"It's not bigger than mine." Joe said touching Patrick's hips.

"Shut the fuck up, it's like five times bigger than yours!"

"You're gonna see how big it really is." Joe said like the biggest pervert in the world, making Patrick shiver.

"I'm a top in case you wanna go there." Patrick joked, making Pete laugh even louder.

"Oh, I would ride the shit out of that thing." Pete stated with a serious tone, staring at the poor horse's dick.

"You guys are the gayest people I've seen in my life. I don't care if you're just joking, I've never seen such non-heterosexuality anywhere." Andy finally laughed, looking at the three half-drunk idiots.

Andy drove away from the horse, Patrick still staring with the corner of his eye at him. His hand was resting on his cheek, completely amazed. "That dick is so big." he said again.

"That is literally goals, dude." Pete said, falling on a seat as Andy accelerated. "Hey!" he yelled, making Andy jump in his seat.

"Would you please just shut the fuck up? I almost drove into a tree!"

"What?" Pete teased Andy, coming right next to him, resting his head on Andy's shoulder. "Don't you like big dicks?"

Andy pushed Pete back, taking Patrick and Joe with him. "If you don't go to sleep now I swear to God I'm kicking you out of the car."

The boys continued laughing until their eyes started closing involuntarily and they fell asleep in a weird position: Patrick's leg on Joe's chest, Pete's head on Patrick's belly and Joe's hand on Pete's lower back, almost on his butt. Andy snorted amused and continued driving to the next town, where they were supposed to have the next concert.