[7] deathly wishes

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"A handmaiden was caught stealing food this morning. She said the lady she is working for told her to bring it to the other servants. Do you know something about that, m'lady?"

Joffrey had suddenly appeared next to me, as I left Cersei's room.

"She is my handmaiden, I allowed her to take my food leftovers. I told her to, it is not her fault. Did someone hurt her?", I asked.
"No..." he smiled for a second "...not yet. Someone just...taught her how to behave accordingly and learn what happens when you share the imporant people's food with your fellow peasants."
I felt the heat rise into my face. "How can you hurt an innocent girl, who only did what her Lady commanded?!", I asked Joffrey angrily.

"She could have been a liar, she's just another unimportant stupid bastard girl. We've got a thousand of those here. One more or less doesn't mean anything.", he hissed back.

"Where is she now?", I wanted to know

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"Where is she now?", I wanted to know.

"I don't know, I don't care. You're with me right now, that's all you should be your only concern.", Joffrey claimed and grabbed my arm.

His grip was tight.

"I need to go. It's my fault she's getting hurt.", I replied and tried to escape his tightening grip but I couldn't manage to do so.

"I could have that bitch executed if I wanted to. You care about her. Why?", his face got dangerously close to mine.

It wasn't like the last time after dinner when I enjoyed having him close to me. This time it was different, like a colder side of Joffrey, another him.

"She is a good handmaiden. She told me the servants here are starving, even for King's Landing's servant conditions. Please, my beloved king, release her. She's not guilty in any way.", I begged.

"What did she say?", he paused for a brief secound.  "She is complaining about hunger? Alright, she will get the food she needs. More than that. Don't worry about it any longer, my sweet lady.", Joffrey awkwardly grinned at me, gave two king's guards a sign with his hand and they walked away.

Relieved, I could focus on my future husband again. We had a long walk, inside the castle this time, and he told me about the Targaryens and the war in which his father conquered the Iron Throne. Joffrey was visibly fascinated by wars and violence as talked about it with such passion that his eyes lightened a spark each story he started.

By the end of the day I finally reached my chambers. Tired of walking around, I turned the cold, golden doorknob around.

As I walked towards my bed I saw my handmaiden Kenly , asleep, her face to the wall and sighed in relief to see her safe and sound. Though quickly I realised what an odd thing to do this was for a servant. Kenly seemed like the anxious type who would not dare to make any mistake she could avoid at all costs.

"Kenly? I need my hair to be brushed. And my dress needs to be opened as well", I commanded trying to sound steady.

No response. I tried it again and again but she wouldn't wake up.

A bit angry, I walked over to my bed and turned her around on her shoulder.
For one secound I couldn't believe what I saw.

Her face and arms were full of blue to dark green bruises.

Kenly's eyes were opened widely and looked like they were going to pop out. I could literally see every single vein in them, detailed in the deepest red I had ever seen.

I could barely lift my eyes from her scared glaze but then I saw something even more disturbing. Her mouth was filled with every imaginable kind of groceries. Her jaw was stretched down in the most unhealthy angle by the amount of food that had been pushed into her.
Fruits, potatos and a huge chicken leg stuck in the middle and I was even able to see it had been pushed deep down into her throat.

She had been fed to death with the most exclusive food in King's Landing.

What had I done? This sweet,  innocent girl had died because of my stupidity.
Maybe I wasn't meant to become queen. I only made things worse, I couldn't even manage keeping my own servants safe.

I tried to organize the mess inside my brain as my thoughts seemed to get my head close to explode. One personal protector from the king's guard stood in front of my dorm all day, every day. So I opened my door dazed and commanded him to carry out Kenly' liveless, pale body.

I wasn't even able to cry. I felt nothing but the cold breeze that passed me by as the guard closed the door. Even though I had a blanket wrapped around me I was freezing to my core. My family thought I wasn't good enough to be queen. For some reason my fiance wanted to see me suffer and I promised a dead girl something and couldn't hold on to.

When I had arrived here for the first time, I expected this city to be an even greater place than Highgarden, but everyone here was lying. Everyone was playing the game of thrones and I had just entered this world without respect or mercy and but now there was no going back.

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