Chapter 3.

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Joshua:
I went back into the service and I sat by my choir shaking my legs and this song that the guess choir was siniging. I was hurt upset as they was singing all you could hear was me crying , so my dad and pastor came over and started praying and speaking in tongues and comforting me as I cried.


As I calmed down they gave me tissues and I looked up and Shawn was sitting there looking sad with tears in his eye his eyes was blood shot red. While i was sitting in my seat i turned my attention to the rest of the service. I looked as my dad became the Jurisdictional Bishop of the State of Tennessee. I sat and watch them talk and put his garment on him. I smiled as i saw my moms standing right beside him. They Called me up and I went to present my gifts and we Dismissed.

I walked to my office to changed and i was getting my iPad and phone and my bag and locked up as I walked to the doors so I could get in my truck I saw Shawn.

"Can we please talk.?" He asked.

"I don't know if I'm in the mood to talk right now that event really messed with me all service." I said with sadness in my voice.

"That's very understandable and that's why I came to talk to you about it that girl you saw was Jessica she said she's pregnant. " He said. That's was like I bullet shooting me in my stomach.

"Wow I can't even I don't know what to say even though we aren't official you know how I feel about you " I said.

"You know how I feel about you too dude I'm not out about my sexuality and you the only person I want to be with right now but Jessica has my child in there so i can't just leave her for you." He said.

I couldn't believe we was having this conversation in church. " Just call me when you free cause I don't want to say nothing that I will regret." I said as I walked t my truck and drove home.

I saw that my parents wasn't home yet so I went to do laundry and listen to my worship music cause I dont know why God is doing to me but I need him to give me answers.  I didn't know what i was getting myself into I didn't want to be the side piece but I wasn't out about my sexuality either. I wasn't about to get caught and ruin my family legacy. As I continue to do chores and get myself prepared for school the next day I got a text.

Shawn 💕😍: hey .
Sweet Pie 💋😈💦: What's Up.?
Shawn 💕😍: nothing sitting here thinking about you.
Sweet Pie 💋😈💦: Awe is That Right Should Yu Be Thinking About Jessica Yur Wifey and Child.?
Shawn 💕😍: here you go with this shit I said that she's carrying my child why do you want me to do?
Sweetie Pie 💋😈💦: Absolutely Nothing At All. I Will Talk To Yu Later I Have School Like Some of Us.

As I was sitting in my room I heard our alarms system go off and I heard my mom and dad talking and I knew it was them I was thinking about how Shawn is so perfect and sexy and just right for me but then I got to thinking he is 22 and I'm 18 and he goes to my church and it was just a lot.

I went down stairs and I was greeted by my dad first he hugged me super tight as if it was his life that depended on this hug.          

"Where you okay son cause today you got your deliverance  " did he smiling ."

"I was just in worship daddy that songs touches me every time hear it. " I said half honest.

"Well that's good sweetie " my mother said kissing my forehead . 

"Well we are tied and we are going to bed I have a big day tomorrow with the Presiding Bishop." He said.

I said "okay" and I went to bed .

6:30 a.m.


I woke up, did my hygiene and put my clothe on and went and got me some donuts and coffee. And drove to school. All day all I could do was think about him.

I walked to lunch and I was very ready to go home or somewhere but here

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I walked to lunch and I was very ready to go home or somewhere but here. For Lunch I  drove to Wendy's and I saw Shawn he came up to me while I was in line. He asked me to meet in in the bathroom. At first i ignored it because who do you think i am? Some cheap whore or some Grindr hook up? But i sucked it up the went to the bathroom and he locked the doors. All of the sudden he picked me up and placed me on the sink and he was sitting there in between my legs.

"What do you want .?" I said .

"I want you you know that I miss you and I was checking up on you I called you and you didn't answer ." He said kinda mad.

"I was busy trying to not think about you but it's hard I rather you do right by her if you are going to be with her cause getting cheated on by a boy and not a girl is embarrassing and hurtful and I don't want to be in the mix. " I said Honestly.

"I'm not cheating cause I'm not committed to anyone." He said I felt like he was lying but I shook it off. He began to kiss me and we was making out for so long I looked at the time and I miss my lunch so I was like fuck it i already end miss this much. 

He wanted to see me tonight and go on a date and I said that was coo. We left after we got our food and he paid. He said he was going to work and I said okay. And kissed him goodbye. Come to find out Shawn worked at a clinic For Elderly People. I actually felling him deep God Please help me.

 I actually felling him deep God Please help me

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