You wish you knew me now (editing)

Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Mariah

Two years later

"So girls this year's academy is pretty harsh, but you have to suck it up and deal with it. My manager James will accompany us during our visit to France." The girls nodded approvingly.

I saw few grin's. Mainly all of the girls that had a crush on him.

Knowing James he wouldn't fight against sleeping with them but he wasn't the type of guy to easily fall under a women's whim. Thats what I admired about him.

But since he was quite professional he stopped any unprofessional business. He had his reasons for it to.

I went back to explaining every little detail's about modelling, introducing the do's and don't. All of this was part of the spectrum to being the polished well defined model. "If you have any questions feel free to ask" I smiled.

I was never harsh on these girls because modelling was never easy for me at start. While other company's where unkind to their young models, criticising everything about them. I couldn't have the heart to do that to them. I knew that would just have a negative impact on their self-esteem.

I like to promote the curvy women with the excess baby weight and thick skin. Their was no point promote lies and setting trend for the 'skinny' ones we needed to inspire big women to.

At the start for me it was really difficult. They ask you to be perfect which is completely impossible, because no one is ever perfect. Still having my baby weight and to lose it had been difficult.

After moving in with James made me realise who I am, he helped me get through everything. I hadn't told him The real reason behind me leaving but everything about my life I explained. I consider him as the only person I could fully trust.

"So will we be allowed going to the red carpet event?" one of the shy models asked,.

"Well I'm trying my hardest to get you guy's in. The event is something we need to think about. We don't want to make a fool of ourselves." I answered.

"How did you become into who you are today?"

This is one question that gets me tongue tied. I never know the right answers to give, due to the lies I need to spill.

"Well for a starter I couldn't do it without James. I needed someone to support me. You guys have me; I will support you all the way. But also, believing in yourself. I had a very low -self esteem at the beginning but I believed in myself, telling myself every day, I'm strong and independent despite what others think of me.You won't get far if you don't believe in yourself "

"I think I need to cut the meeting short we have an interview we need to go Mercedes" I nodded to James. The girls exited the room followed by me and my manager.

My stage name i decided to go with was Mercedes; it was my father's middle name which I carried. None of my siblings or even my mother held that name. I wore the name with such pride.

I didn't really like interviews they would ask too many personal questions which I knew I would stutter in answering. I would never give them much insider about my life, about Alina, about my past.

This was the first TV interview i was making.

If my father was here he would be so proud of me gaining my courage and strength after years of pure hatred torture.

" What do you want to do once we are back from France?" he said embracing me into a hug.

"James nothing special, I want to spend some time with you" I teased, pinching his soft, delicate cheeks. For a man he had amazing cheeks, his stubble was always in order. Just like he is. "Actually I was thinking about the Bugatti Veyron, that you were offered but you declined to" I tried to playing the guilt card.

I saw him clenching his fist; I knew I shouldn't have said that. He hated me driving fast cars thinking I'm not capable of being behind the wheels.

"No. You're not getting that car. It's too fast and I'm not willing to risk your life over a car" he stated stubbornly.

He has always been a hard nut shell to crack. I hate how strong headed he is sometimes.

"Fine then, I'm not going to hook you up with Torie" I said while waving a piece of paper that had her number on it.

He had liked this model for a long time that belonged to another agency and a very good friend of mine. Though I knew he wasn't serious about her winding him up was always so much fun.

" You know how I love my Brazilian models." he glared but I could see the laughter behind the glare. He tried to grab the piece of paper, but I stuffed it inside my bra.

He instantly looked away. Feeling of embarrassment hit me. We walked into a nursery in compete silence.

Alina was playing and walk towards me. I crouched down and liften her little body in my arms.

She finally hit the age of being terrible two. That term lived to be true. She seemed to always keep everyone in their toes.

"Well let's ask Alina" she placed her hands on my lap, for support while I held her in my arms. "Alina will you tell James to let mama buy a car?" she giggled in while James took her in his arms.

I love watching this, her smile and her encouragement. I sometimes wish it was Adam who held her with such love and interest. But I knew that day would never come. I was too scared if him to let him near my daughter. I could never forgive him.
.....................................

"That was great. You did so well. Sorry we couldn't keep everything under the radar. You know I tried my hardest to keep your personal life hidden away from the media. But the good thing is no one's know about Alina"

I'm so relieved that it was finally over. I was even more relived that, no one knew I have a daughter; I never want Adam to find out he has a daughter. I'm not ready for it; I want Alina to be kept far away from him.

"It's okay; I guess my past life had to come out. At least I'm giving young teens the strength if they are getting bullied"

I admitted on national television I was bullied, and that I ran away from home to get away from that life. I couldn't possibly tell them the real reason why. But I know there are lots of people like me who have or are being bullied.

"You know how many people tuned into to watch your first ever official interview?" I looked at his flabbergasted face. "20 million people"

"You got be kidding me. No way!" I screamed, while jumping up and down on the spot.

"You're welcome" I looked back at James to see a very cheeky smirk planted on his face.

"For what?" I said.

He smirked ignoring me he slowly walked up to me. He bent down slowly.

"You tell me" James whispered in my ears hoarsely. His breath sent shivers down my spine, my stomach fluttering with anticipation.

I could never let him know the true feelings i had about him. It would turn ugly the minute I told him and i didn't want to lose him. I felt though he only saw me as the 17 year old he saved and not the strong 20 year old women I have become.

But my feelings for him are strong and recognisable.My heart wants what it wants and it wants and need's James.