Don't Ever Leave - Septiplier

Chapter Thirty Two

A/N: So sorry for another question, but... Would you like to see more fluff or angst? Either choice will not effect the ending of this story. There's just two endings that I see for this fic and while both will be 'happy', this will just set the ultimate end. (Tbh, I'd rather do angst, but I'd like to write what you'd like to see c:) Really need help deciding where to go with this! Thank you for reading!

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I pulled on one of Mark's shirts - a habit I've picked up on since living with him for the past while. Felix was still held up in Mark's recording room and I wondered if he was making a video. I figured it was best not to disturb him, in the case that he was, even though the loneliness was eating me up inside once again. I couldn't place the reason why I was feeling this way, but sadness didn't always have to have a reason. I wanted to sleep, but felt I couldn't, the dark thoughts in my mind didn't allow me to rest. I wish I had the desire to make a video, the fans were probably crazy-pissed that I hadn't uploaded myself in so long. I just didn't have it in me to sit down and pretend to be happy. Hopefully Felix's update on my channel was enough.

I went over to my bag in the corner of the room, fiddling with a pocket on the inside. I pulled out the pack of cigarettes - as Americans called them - grabbing the lighter as well as taking one out of the bunch, putting the remainder away in case Felix found me. I bought two packs the first time, having to throw the first one away for Mark's sake, but what he doesn't know, can't hurt him, right? 

Leaving the comfort of Mark's bedroom, I snuck out of the house and went to the backyard, in case Mark came home. I stuck the cigarette between my lips and flicked the lighter, sliding it into my pocket and breathing in the smoke, letting it fill my lungs before exhaling. I still wasn't used to this, but allowed the numb feeling it had take me over. Evil spelt backwards is live, and living is a nightmare I can't escape from. Smoking helped me feel cleansed, as odd as it may sound. It rid me of the negativity, even if it hurt my health. 

I noticed the lights in the house changing and looked down at my cigarette, wondering if I should go inside to avoid suspicion or finish it. I assumed it was Felix, Mark would probably be at the store for a while. I decided I'd stay, wrapping my lips around the end of the cigarette and breathing in, my head feeling lighter with every breath. 

"Jack?! You out here?" I heard Felix yell and I quickly blew the remaining smoke out of my mouth, dropping the cigarette and crushing it under my shoe. 

"Yeah! Coming!" I called, stomping back to the front door, I'd have to smoke tonight while Mark was asleep. I saw Felix, who had wide eyes, immediately hugging me, though it seemed more unsure than any other hug he's given me. I wondered why he was so hesitant, but didn't want to press.

"What were you doing?" He asked, pulling me inside.

"Just looking up at the stars, it's peaceful at night," I shrugged, watching him sigh and run a hand through his hair.

"You shouldn't be out here alone. You never know what can happen and I want you safe," He pulled me in for another hug, making me sigh at his closeness. I enjoyed it, but at the same time I wanted to be alone. It was as if I couldn't make up my mind. I wanted to record, but I didn't. I wanted to be with company, but I didn't. What is wrong with me? "Have you talked with Bob and Wade yet?"

"Shit, no. I must've forgotten," I groaned, wanting the world to swallow me whole at the thought of human interaction. I could only stand being around Felix and Mark right now, just the thought of being on the phone, made me want to hurl. 

"That's okay, I can always get ahold of them for you. How are you feeling?" He assured me, followed by a question I was getting used to lying to.

"I'm good, you?" I countered with a smile to support my lie, which I could easily tell he didn't believe, just by the way his face fell and his eyes drooped. 

"Fine," It was his turn to lie, it was obvious to tell he wasn't okay. I never should've asked him to stay - he's miserable here and terrified. It was selfish of me to ask him to stay. I was about to tell him he wasn't fine, when the door opened and Mark stepped in. I felt myself instantly get happier, but noticed he didn't have any grocery bags.

"Mark? I thought you went to the store," I cocked my head at him in puzzlement, watching as he seemed to shift foot to foot.

"I did, but they were all out of what I needed. I was just going to get another work notebook, but none of them were what I wanted," He sighed, coming up to me and pecking my lips briefly. They tasted metallic and before I could say anything about it, he added, "I'm really tired, my eyes are dry from looking through so many dumb notebooks. Cuddle with me in bed?"

"Of course," I forgot all about his suspicious demeanor and let him take my hand, his thumb rubbing against mine gingerly as he began leading me towards the bedroom. "Goodnight, Felix."

"Wait, Jack... Can I talk to you?" Felix asked, a desperate tone in his voice. I nodded and let go of Mark's hand, who suddenly looked a bit angry. Apparently Felix noticed too, "Goddamn, Mark, calm down! You're precious Jack will be right back in literally five minutes."

"Calm down, Felix," I hushed him, not wanting to anger Mark further, who was mumbling under his breath and walking away. "What was that for?"

"Can you not feel the tension between all of us? It's unbearable and the guy fucking terrifies me and all I wanted to do was talk. I can't get through to him, so I have to yell, but even that'll kill me!"

"He won't kill you, Felix. I could never be with him if he killed anyone, especially you, Fe. He knows that," I reassured him, putting a hand on his shoulder. "What did you want to talk about?"

"Before I got here... I had this nightmare about the three of us. I was just coming back and noticed these cigarettes near the stoop - I didn't even know you had smoked, which freaks me the fuck out - and... long story short, Mark killed you for trying to leave and then he killed himself and I was thinking about it and I realized that I wouldn't be able to live if that happened. I just really need you to be safe."

"It was just a nightmare, Felix. There's nothing to be afraid of," I tried to comfort him, but he shook his head roughly. 

"How do you explain the cigarettes in my dream then? I didn't know you smoked, how could my mind come up with something so random?" He pressed and the more he talked about it, the more I began to believe him. Perhaps it did mean something, but I couldn't freak him out. 

"It was just a coincidence, don't worry, Felix. Just get some sleep and... maybe you can visit with Mark's therapist. They're nice," I promised, hoping he'd agree to go, even though I wouldn't myself. I wanted to at first, but pushing myself just didn't feel right anymore. He slowly nodded and sighed.

"Yeah, yeah. You're probably right. Well, goodnight, Jackaboy. See you tomorrow," He gave me a brief hug before leaving abruptly. I bit my lip to prevent me from calling him back and talking with him until he actually feels better, but if it were me, I'd continue lying and figured what's the point? 

I headed to Mark's room and spotted him laying in bed, facing my side. I took my spot and wiggled towards him slowly, before his hands found my waist and yanked me towards him. I smiled lightly and buried my face in his chest as he rubbed my back. This was probably the nicest I've felt since this whole mess started.