Don't Ever Leave - Septiplier

Chapter Fifty Eight

I wanted to bash my head against the wall repeatedly until Jack came back. I wondered what was taking them so long, but I figured Jack decided to smoke somewhere else, knowing I'd probably just toss it out again and freak out. It was agonizing not being with him, knowing Felix was and is probably telling him how awful I actually am - going into detail about all the twisted shit I did to Eli.

Waiting around was only making me want to break down, so I decided to move to the computer and open up Skype. I found Wade's name online and requested for a video call. It didn't take long for him to answer, shock overwhelming his face.

"Hey, Wade," I greeted him softly, sure I looked like absolute shit.

"What's wrong? You look angry and sad," He noticed immediately and I sighed, nodding.

"Jack might leave me," I told him, remembering Jack had told Bob and him that we were together.

"Shit... I'm sorry. If I was still in L.A., I'd come to help you out," He frowned profoundly and I sighed, rubbing my face roughly with my hands. "Why would he leave you? What happened? Where is he now?"

"I killed three people," I uttered quietly, afraid of how he'd react. I was looking down at my lap, silence filling the room. "Felix knew and told Jack. Felix took him to the store to get cigarettes."

"What?! Since when does he smoke?!" Wade asked and I glanced up, seeing he was't even concerned about the fact that I've turned into a murderer. I was glad Wade was one of my friends who supported me - even though I ended the lives of a few people.

"Does it matter? I'm losing him, Wade! I don't know what's wrong with me. I love him, more than anything, I don't know what to do without him," I stressed, tears piercing my eyes. "Apart of me just wants to lock him away, so he'll stay, but... I don't want to force him to love me."

"Well, don't lock him away then," He said as though it were obvious, which of course it was.

"Oh, yes! That's it! The solution to all my problems!" I declared sarcastically, rolling my eyes. "Seriously, Wade, I need help."

"I know, I know, I'm sorry, this is just such a sticky situation. What if you get caught for the things you did? There's no Jack in prison," Wade reminded me, only making the tears in my eyes fall. "Oh, shit... It's that serious? You aren't just overreacting?"

"Of course I'm not! You should've seen his face. He looked so destroyed. I wrecked him," I muttered softly, trying to force the tears to stay down, but they couldn't and I could taste the salty liquid as it found it's way towards my mouth. "I broke him. He became depressed because of me, he's smoking because of me, he's hurting right now and it's all my fault! What the fuck did I do?"

"Um... I'm not so great at this type of stuff, but listen, okay?" Wade said softly and I looked back to the cam, nodding and urging him to continue. "When I found out you and Jack were together, I was so shocked - I literally spat my drink at him, but when I looked to him, he still seemed happy, even though he was covered in cold coffee. Who's happy when something like that happens? I could just tell he was overjoyed by the fact you guys were together and that nothing mattered but that. If you guys truly love each other, I'm sure you'll work it out."

"I don't know..." I trailed off uncertainly. "I don't think Jack could love a murderer."

"I'm not sure about that, Mark. From what I've seen of him, he has a huge heart, and he's always respected and loved you. You have to remind him and yourself about who you really are and even though it's incredibly messed up that you've legit killed people... It's like a huge bump in the road and if you guys can pull through this, you'll live happily ever after."

"I mean, I guess... But I killed people."

"I know, but I still love you, don't I? I'm sure you had your reasons for whatever you did or else there's just something in your head that's telling you to do it. You should get help."

"We were in a mental facility for a week and they couldn't find anything wrong with me," I informed him, remembering Wade didn't know anything that's happened recently.

"Keep trying to get help. Just because they couldn't diagnose you, doesn't mean no one else can. There's always hope, Mark, and if you work hard, things will fall together," He supported me and I gave him a small smile to show he was helping. "Erm, this is going to sound awkward and... it might make you flip out, but I'm asking for good reason - not to get too personal, but does Jack enjoy pain, like is he a masochist?"

"To an extent I think... Not sure if he full-on loves it," I reply awkwardly, trying not to snap at him for even asking something like that about Jack.

"Well, maybe he's less innocent than you think. If there's something in his brain, telling him he likes pain, he might be able to get through this. In my mind, at least, that's the sign of a pretty strong person."

"You have a strange outlook on things," I chuckled, getting what he was trying to say. "But you might be right. Maybe Jack can understand and even though it is messed up, perhaps we can make it work."

"Well, I'm rooting for you guys, whether it's twisted or not. I'll always be here for you and I'll help cover you if you need it in the future, in case anyone looks into the murders..." Wade paused for a moment before laughing. "I might be really messed up for saying that so casually."

"Trust me, I know the feeling," I smiled, feeling a bit better. I heard a car pulling up to the house and doors closing. "I think Jack and Felix are back, I'll talk to you later. Thanks for the help. If you ever need me, you know where to find me."

"Of course," Wade nodded, before signing off. The front door started opening and I braced myself, knowing that by the end of this, I'll either be able to manage keeping Jack with me forever, or lose him completely.