Chapter Twelve- Aches and Nose Bleeds

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[Aches and Nose Bleeds]

*Lyla*

February 13, 2016


I look up at the hospital ceiling, sighing as the pain in my arms seem to double. I try to focus of something other than the ache. It's almost as if I have been going to the gym and working my arms excessively over the past two weeks and now I am having a break. They feel as if they are going to fall off and I just wish it would happen.

That is the most common side effect of my chemo. I sometimes get nausea or even short term memory loss. But the sore arms is the most common. Every time I call a nurse in for the pain, they just tell me that it has to pass through.

The loss of balance I experienced yesterday was the first time it's ever happened. It is hard, to suddenly not be in control of my body. I'm sick and dizzy and in pain. I lose my memory and I am scared. I don't know how much longer I have of this treatment. But I know, that once I am cancer free, I have five years until I can be labeled cured.

Matthew has been a saint. Some nights, he will come and spend the night on the couch so that if something were to happen, he is just down the stairs. Bianca doesn't seem to mind, they have been reconnecting, though their previous friendship can never be rekindled.

Other nights, I spend them at his house. Matthew, being the well-off man that he is, has a six bedroom house. I have been given a guest bedroom, which is right across the hall from Matthews. The downside, is that Talia is the room to the left of me. I know she can't stand me, for reasons I still do not know. I have wanted to ask Matthew, but there has never been a prime opportunity.

Donovan has become a great friend. He is a joking, goof of a best friend. I spend a lot of time, especially when Matt goes off to fight, playing video games or watching romance movies.

Donovan is a sucker for romance movies. He is never able to watch them with Matt, Talia or Austin. He uses me to his advantage... I feel our friendship is completely beneficially on his end.

I chuckle softly to myself as I think this.

No, I benefit plenty from him. He makes every situation light and funny. Even though I have Leukemia, I seem to forget it when I'm with him.

I know it angers Matthew that Donovan is the one to clear my mind and make me forget. But when I am with Matthew, it is impossible to forget. All I can think about is that I might have to say goodbye to him.

And then I curse myself for thinking so negatively.

"What are you laughing about?" I turn my head to see Donovan walk through the hospital room doors. He is carrying a stuffed teddy bear and a bouquet of an assortment of flowers, primarily purple.

I stare at him with wide eyes, sitting up quickly as I look around the room. They didn't move me. I'm still in the cancer center.

Looking back at Donovan, tears fill my eyes. He quickly enters the room, dropping the bear on the chair that Matthew usually occupies and places the vase of flowers on the bedside table. "Lyla? What is it? What hurts? Shi-oot. Matthew is going to kill me."

I shake my head, taking a few deep breaths. "You're here." I whisper.

"Hmm. I went to your house, the check up on you. I don't know why I thought you'd be home already, but I ran into Bianca. She told me where to find you." Donovan explains, picking up the teddy bear and sitting down on the chair, grabbing hold of my hand.

"So, you know."

"She told me." Donovan confirms.

I let out a sigh and turn to look forward at the blank TV. This is not how I wanted him to find out. He deserved to have been told in person, by me. Not by Bianca.

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