Dark Days

Darkness

I've always wondered what my life would be like if I had just given up that day.
If I stopped caring
Stopped loving
Stopped everything.

You can't forget a time of darkness
It never will go away
I could never forget.

Darkness, alone, sad, angry, confused.
That was how I felt.
Who was I?
What caused me to fall so hard that I couldn't see anything?

I was sad.
But i couldn't feel it.
Numbness, bitterness, sadness.
I couldn't feel, I couldn't speak.
So I stayed quiet.

I let the world consume me.
I let the people destroy me.
I let myself crumple apart.

I begged for someone to save me.
No one could hear my cry.

I wanted to leave
I needed to escape
I forgot who I was

I wanted to leave this place, I wanted to find a meaning to my life because I couldn't see one.
I needed to escape my thoughts, I needed to see that my life had a purpose.
I forgot who I was, I forgot to tell myself that I loved me, so I let the words people spoke define me.

I was in a dark place for a long time.
I didn't feel worthy.
I didn't feel wanted.
I didn't feel loved

I forgot how to love.
I forgot how to live
I forgot how to let someone in and let them see the good in me.
I shut that girl out.

What scares me the most is if anyone will ever see the good in me.
I escaped that darkness.

I'm still learning to love
To live
To let someone in

I pray and pray. That I'll find someone who will see the good within me.

To set me free.
And except me for me.